Legacy and Generosity
Jeanne McMains – Estate Planning Attorney (NCF)
…Well, it’s such a fun podcast because I get to interview people like you, people who’ve had such an incredible influence in families across the United States. And I feel like because I work at the National Christian Foundation, I understand what you do, but I don’t think the average listener even knows the service that is provided for families. And I’d love for you to start with that. Like, what does it mean that you’ve worked with these families over all the years? What has been your goal? What have you been trying to do?
Jeanne McMains [00:02:24]:
Absolutely. Well, it it has been a delight to be part of the NCF family. This is my 20th year being with the National Christian Foundation, and we’ve seen a lot of growth in our ministry and coming alongside families and givers really coast to coast. So most of my tenure here at NCF has been serving as a gift planning attorney, which means I’ve had the joy of working along side families and advisors over most of the country and thinking through how they want to steward their resources in such a way that it continues God’s story of reaching the world, the hurting and the lost with the resources that have been entrusted to their care. And the beauty of that is that serving together in the Kingdom also starts in our families, and it goes out from there as well. And so a lot of this on how we love people well in relationship and with our resources has been a big partof that. So at NCF, our hope is just to be a guide, a trusted, faith aligned, code, you know journey person with you along the way. Sometimes I say, you know, we’re we’re certainly not the experts, but we’ve been blessed to sit at the crossroads of these conversations.
A Professional Confidential Story Sharer
Jeanne McMains [00:03:31]:So we can share stories and share ideas that hopefully can allow families to think through matters of wealth and family and faith and finances in new ways. Wow. I understand. So I guess I’m a professional story sharer, but always respecting the confidence.
Kim Moeller [00:03:48]:ofJeanne McMains [00:03:49]:the people we serve.Kim Moeller [00:03:51]:Yeah. And in some ways, I feel as a podcast host, that’s what I get to do is share people’sstories because they’re so incredible and podcasting is so incredible in today’s world, how youcan have, you know, a 45 minute conversation. In fact, Apple talks about it really being the areathey are investing in because when someone has their AirPods in their ears for 45 minutes uninterrupted, it’s very, very powerful for advertising, for everything. So I do love spotlighting guests and how God has used their backgrounds, their strengths, and weaknesses to accomplish his Kingdom, you know, through their their career, their calling, their vocation. So tell us a little bit about lwhere you grew up and how you chose to go to law school and then ended up in this field of law and planning for estates?
Jeanne’s Background Story
Jeanne McMains [00:04:42]:Oh, what a fun question. And, first of all, I sometimes you know, I’m old enough now, Kim, that I’ll have, you know, young professionals come up and say, you know, how did you get to be where you are? I always think it’s a funny question. And, you know, my response has always been press in every day and keep putting the pen back in God’s hands and let him write your story.
Kim Moeller [00:05:03]:That’s beautiful.
Jeanne McMains [00:05:04]:That’s really, really the point. And so, you know, I I grew up in the Midwest, went to Purdue University, grew up in Northern Indiana. It’s fantastic roots. Being from the Midwest is a great place to be from.
Kim Moeller [00:05:17]:I was born in Indiana. I lived there a year. Yeah.Jeanne McMains [00:05:20]:Yeah. Well, I lived there a few more than that, but, anyway yeah. So, you know, one summer, I wanted to be an author, Kim. That was my original goal, and my undergraduate degree was in writing because I love stories. And then happenstance had a summer job in the middle of college, and I worked in a local small town law firm as sort of a secretary. And I had a project that summer of cleaning out their probate files. I mean, how boring is that. Right? Potentially.
Family Stories
Jeanne McMains [00:05:48]:But it was all these family stories and all these little tidbits and trinkets and stories inside thesefiles. And I realized I was like, lord, I could really be, going to ministry and help families during the time and the loss of a loved one and come alongside them. And so it’s always been about the family legacy piece of this.Kim Moeller [00:06:07]:Yes.Jeanne McMains [00:06:07]:And, I’m a fairly decent student, so, I went ahead and went into law school. And it was either that or going to seminary. And I just felt like God was really calling me to go be a minister to families around establishing, preserving, and transitioning godly legacies. So that was my private practice. I practiced law for a decade working with families and business owners in order to create meaningful impact in their families and beyond with the resources that they were stewarding.Kim Moeller [00:06:37]:
And what did you love most about that? And what was the most challenging thing when you look back and remember that season of that decade?Jeanne McMains [00:06:46]:Great question. I loved the people and the stories. In fact, I remember my first child when I went on maternity leave. I had an associate attorney sort of filling in for me. And, like, five weeks into the maternity leave, he calls me and he says, we ran through the business and then he goes, I have one more question. And I was like, what is it?And he goes, your clients are calling and they want to know how you’re doing. And I mean, just because we build relationship with the families and so I think it puzzled him that it really was about the people. The challenge was balancing my career and my motherhood.
Jeanne McMains [00:07:23]:It was really challenging. And my first law job, there was a lot of I worked for a partner who did a lot of national speaking and teaching, and it was a fan I learned so much in those first few years.But my son got sick and I remember the partner of the firm he had the tagline was an unreasonable commitment to excellence. Okay. And I called the pediatrician. My son had RSV.The pediatrician’s like, you have to bring him in immediately. And I had to give him nebulizer treatments, like, every few hours.Jeanne McMains [00:07:55]:So I my boss said, you have to come in. We don’t cancel appointments. And, Kim, I’m embarrassed. I but I didn’t know what to do. So I went in, and I allowed the paralegal to give my newborn baby the nebulizer treatment. And I thought, what am I doing?
Kim Moeller [00:08:11]:And you look back and you go, ay ay ay. What was I doing? But we learn through those things,and that helps us then say, okay. It’s not happening again. I’m going to pivot.Exactly.Jeanne McMains [00:08:22]:And, you know, that was part of my story, Jill. So 2 weeks later, I said I resigned, and I remember the attorney saying, oh, you you know, your career. And I said, my kids need a mom. But God has always been faithful in the journey and, and He’s allowed me to navigate one more really great piece of wisdom someone gave me along that journey of struggling and balancing being a, you know, a fully engaged mother and a dedicated professional. I was talking with her about the struggle.
An Engaged Mom & Dedicated Professional
My kids were probably in middle school then, and, you know, just the time and trying to balance that right. Work life balance. Yes.Jeanne McMains [00:08:57]:She said, I hate that term. I was like, what? And she said, it’s really trusting God in the tensions.And so when work calls you to work overtime one night, you’re trusting God that He’s there with the kids. And when you have to stay home with the kids, you’re trusting God with the work. And that was so meaningful to me in that season.
Kim Moeller [00:09:17]:That’s good. Yeah. And it’s so seasonal. And I love that you’re calling out this work life balance,because I think especially for women, it doesn’t matter how you slice dice it. It’s the woman who nurses the baby. It’s the woman who carries the baby and pregnant.A lot is on the woman, and that’s just how God designed it. And then you have your calling, and you have your maybe you’re really numbers oriented, and you’re the CPA.Kim Moeller [00:09:42]:You know? Maybe you’re a doctor. Maybe you’re a writer, whatever it is, but it is that blend of you have that baby and that brain that got whatever degrees it got for a while feels like it’s sort of set over here as you’re just, you know, loving on this little one who needs you for everything.And yet it’s so beautiful when you look back, and I do feel life is so seasonal and if we can just embrace the season that we’re in and God’s provision and maybe it is two incomes to make it work wherever that person’s living. Maybe it’s one income. Like, there’s no formula. It’s however God is providing, you know, through the callings and the children. Maybe it’s a special needs child that needs extra resources, all of the things. Like, it’s just I look back at my age now with my kids launched, and I’m just grateful for where I am at now, but looking in terms of, like, they’re not in our home, and they’re they’re happy and thriving and doing what they’re doing.Kim Moeller [00:10:47]:But I just realized, like, I wish in some ways those years when they were so little, someone would have said, you know, it’s so crazy. But then one day, you’ll be a part of a Facebookgroup called Grown and Flown. I mean, they are literally grown and flown. And, like, you you look at it and you’re thinking, I just kind of want them to live under my roof the rest of their lives,but I don’t because that’s not how we raised them. My husband, I raised them to thrive and be all they were made to be and step into their calling. So it’s just I think the tensions, the juggling act, the balance, the, you know, helping your child figure out their calling while you’re still figuring out your own. And it’s, you know, it’s pivoting and changing as we grow, and it’s never static. Nothing’s ever static.Jeanne McMains [00:11:32]:Not, Jill. Kim, and I love that you mentioned that it’s, you know, trusting them in the different rhythms, and it’s different for all of us.
Different Seasons and Rhythms
And, actually, it’s not static. It changes as you go. And so trusting them with the rhythms. Yeah. Dedicating all the aspects in prayer, but, you know, it’s just encouraging. It it doesn’t have to be either or, and it doesn’t have to be now or forever.
Jeanne McMains [00:11:53]:Like, just really leaning into, Lord, these are your babies, and you’ve wired me to live on mission, whatever that might look like, and, allowing Him to write that story.Kim Moeller [00:12:03]:So And sometimes it’s even the elderly parents, you know, where you’re doing the caregiving kind of thing. So, well, I love that you brought that up. And let’s talk about then a little bit more of the content of what you focused on when you were with these families because and we are let
me let me call this out to the listener that we’re focusing on 3 pillars this time, family, faith, and finances.
Family, Faith, and Finances
Usually, we do 2, but we felt like this episode really touched on all three of those areas. So those are the 3 areas we’re going to spotlight. But I think it’d be helpful, like, for the listener to feel like they’re in one of your meetings with you, and what would you ask them? How would you help guide the conversation?Jeanne McMains [00:12:45]:Oh, that’s interesting. A lot of these conversations, Kim, started when I was practicing law.Okay? And clients would come to me and they’re updating their wills or their trusts or maybe they’re a business owner and they’re looking at how they need to transition the company ownership or the company management. And so I used to joke, anytime money is changing hands in a complex relationship dynamic, that was where my practice specialty was. So usually these conversations start around the tactics because my background is a tax planning lawyer inthose contacts. But I’ve learned over the years after designing these types of plans that the likelihood of a successful thriving legacy, which I think we all want to have impact, a legacy that extends, you know, beyond just, you know, what we’ve done, enjoyed and and, you know, consumed in this life. It’s so much more based on the relationships that we’re building and even more so than the resources that we’re accumulating and leaving behind. So I frequently would try to pivot the conversation.Jeanne McMains [00:13:50]:Yes. We need to be wise about how we’re managing our resources. Our children need to seethat our resources are not where we put our identity or our security or even shouldn’t be theauthor of how we’re spending our days to just, you know, gain more, keep more, protect more.Kim Moeller [00:14:05]:Mhmm.Jeanne McMains [00:14:06]:It shouldn’t be about the great consumption. It should be about the great commission and theway that they see us making financial decisions. And in addition too, I encourage my clients ifit’s not about my wealth and my resources aren’t about my securityand my identity. What’s itabout? I challenge the families I work with to think about it as fuel in the engine. Right? It’s fuel that takes your family on mission to go impact the world and continue to grow and press into thriving spiritual walk, a walk that looks like Jesus, walk the path. So when I’m given an opportunity and certainly in our work at NCF, it is this combination of a faith biblical worldview and how we live out and build family legacies around wisely stewarding our resources to be a blessing in the world. And so I’d probably ask them a little bit more about what do youhope the inheritance is gonna do in the life of this child? And I asked him to be really practical because wealth Mhmm. A lot of times I hear, Kim, that they’re gonna say, oh, I want him to be a good steward or be content or, you know, those are a state of being.Jeanne McMains [00:15:11]:
Tools & Training to Thrive
It’s it’s not necessarily it’s what grows out of the soil. But resources really just purchase experiences and possessions. And so what types of experiences and learning and and what types of tools and training do folks need in order to be thriving, productive individuals.Mhmm. See them flourish. So I try to get home, get really practical. And then I ask them to look at the life of each child and say, you know, look at their their trajectory right now. And are theyproductive and content? Mhmm.Jeanne McMains [00:15:42]:Or are they consumptive and discontent?Kim Moeller [00:15:45]:And whatJeanne McMains [00:15:45]:would it look like if there was more fuel in the engine on that life trajectory? And just really encourage my clients to think through what will be the impact of these resources if we and then really just pray through it. And, obviously, the pivot is how do I come alongside that child and help them in their journey whether they’re still in the house or whether they’re adults?
Right. So that’s the key. I think the finances are sometimes the Trojan horse for the real work God wants to do in families, and that’s creating a a really a strong relationship community.Kim Moeller [00:16:20]:So And sometimes and tell me if you’ve seen this, but I have heard, like, at the really high capacity level of wealth, sometimes the next generation, the children, like, the parents made the wealth, and then the children, they don’t really know where they fit in. They don’t know their purpose. And sometimes I’ve heard in those meetings when they can really understand their purpose with the what’s entrusted to them, the stewardship of that wealth, but to also give them their own role in that family legacy dynasty, that that’s super powerful as well. Have you seen that happen?Jeanne McMains [00:16:59]:Is. Yeah. It really is. You know, early in the career, I would see families doing this well and a lot of families that didn’t do this well. And I spent a lot of time reflecting, like, what are the things that are in common shared by families that do this well? And there’s not a large sample pool, by the way, because life is hard and families are messy, and we’re all human on the other side of heaven. So what I found is it’s very similar to the business succession world, Kim.
Businesses that thrive, if you think about it, and they and they they move from generation of leadership from one to another, it applies to families too. And so one is strong purpose and identity Mhmm.Jeanne McMains [00:17:38]:For, you know, what’s the purpose? And I love in working with families over the years. I findfrequently when we dig into the family story multi-generationally, not always, but frequently there are themes that you can see that the Lord is writing a unique story in each family. And to borrow from Henry Blackaby’s book, Experiencing God, which I loved back in the eighties when I did it anyway.Kim Moeller [00:18:00]:Yes. Me too.Jeanne McMains [00:18:01]:Let’s see where he’s working in your family and let’s join him there. Join him. And we all wannabe part of a big story, but we wanna also wanna add our own chapter so you can swing too far the other way. You know, I’ve seen mom and dad say these are our values and our story and the kids are like, I don’t see where I fit in that. That feels like your story.Kim Moeller [00:18:21]:Yes.
Jeanne McMains [00:18:21]:So it’s balancing. Like, you know, we might be a family of creators. Grandpa was a creator or a musician and an inventor and an artist and a gardener and, like, we bring beauty into the world.Okay. Well, that’s a that’s a large theme that that individuals could go walk out or entrepreneurial or lifelong learners or evangelists. And so I encourage families to kind of press into their story, find their youth because we all wanna be part of the story.Kim Moeller [00:18:49]:Mhmm. Something bigger than ourselves. And I do think, like, when we feel that we had this conversation that got just plopped in our lap or he used someone in one phrase, they said to us,like, you do feel like, wow. I am a part of a bigger story. Like, anytime we feel we’re, quote, used by God that way, it is so affirming. I think we all desire to be part of something much bigger than because we are. We’re created by the Creator. So there’s nothing that makes brings us more joy, makes us feel more significant.Jeanne McMains [00:19:24]:That’s right. And and if you use my business context again, can you imagine a business that only existed so their employees could have stuff and consume it?Kim Moeller [00:19:32]:Right. And did not have a purpose.Jeanne McMains [00:19:34]:No. We want our employees to be happy. We want them to be able to meet their needs and be able to have cushion and margin, but there is an outward aim and focus. WhenI’m part of a company or a ministry or organization, I know that there’s a purpose that weall play a part in furthering. And so generosity, by the way, is a phenomenal convener of families. It create even so sometimes when your kids are adult and they’re out of the house, it’s like, how do I don’t have them in the car for that 60 minutes. I’m driving back and forth to
They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care
Kim Moeller [00:22:41]:No. That’s really, really good. Okay. When you were just saying that, you reminded me of a pre-conversation you and I had because I always do want to pull in the overcoming adversity piece for the listener to hear how somehow through your life there was something that was challenging that God took you through and allowed and it you know, you wouldn’t be who you are today without going through that. And and how about if you share what you learned with your job while you were being a parent and those two ways that God shaped you to be who youare today?Jeanne McMains [00:23:22]:Yeah. I do feel like we’re always on a learning journey, and it and it all gets mixed together and it’s a lot of ingredients together, and hopefully, God makes great learning recipes. But,yeah, while I’m helping families try to, you know, create strong family relationships such thattheir wealth resources are also gonna fuel to the next generation and continue thriving enduring legacies. You know, I’m a professional young professional with a mother of 2 children. You know? 1, like a freshman or sophomore in high school, another one starting middle school. And,you know, balancing career and marriage and young children and church community and all ofthose things. I’m sure so many of us joining us here have have had those struggles as well.
Did you miss the part that I’m a tax attorney? And so, you know, I’m a mother who’s kinda like a type A.Jeanne McMains [00:24:13]:I’m d on the disc. I’m a 1 on the Enneagram. Like, already, most of your listeners are like, she’sinsufferable. But I’m blessed.Kim Moeller [00:24:21]:Thinking you’re very smartis what they’re thinking.Jeanne McMains [00:24:25]:I’m blessed to have a daughter who is completely wired differently than I am in every possibleway. You know, she’s a 2 helper. She’s a huge empathetic. She’s in a master’s program rightnow on Christian family and marriage counseling, like, super proud mama alert right there. Yes.But there were times when she was young that I was trying to raise her up and train her the wayI’m wired.Kim Moeller [00:24:49]:Mhmm.Jeanne McMains [00:24:50]:And so, you know, as she’s dealing with kids and and, you know, it was always a struggle in theearly all little kids have struggles with trying to figure out how they’re gonna do relationships. Butin middle school, it was a really hard time for her to the point where lots of girls in her classwere, you know, they were really tormenting her, with notes and letters and emails and So hard.
Hateful. And so, you know, she’s processing all that as a, you know, huge feeler. And I’mapproaching it as, like, here’s how you fix it. Like, you’re gonna go in. You’re not gonna let themknow that they’re underneath your skin and keep your chin up. And there was a point therethough, Kim, that she could hardly function, and this is her story to tell.Jeanne McMains [00:25:33]:And she and I do speak publicly on this journey, by the way. And I just realized in that moment,there was a particular moment on the way to school where she was just devastated. I couldn’teven get her in the car. Yeah. And I realized that she was too important. And I’ve triedeverything I knew how to do that would work for me, but I was parenting her as though she werea little mini me, and she’s not. She’s a beautiful unique creation. And so I pressed in, and she and I started a learning journey together over the next year and a half where, I mean, we use things like code words and little notes on each other pillows.
Jeanne McMains [00:26:07]:It’s like Oh, cute. Rules. I mean, we we really poured into that and is it was so important, because there’s there’s nothing more important than identifying your child’s unique gifting. Yes.Right. And challenges. And then with the whole help of the holy spirit, meeting them there to walk their own story in the way God’s wired them. It was hard, and it wasit was scary in that season actually as you can imagine without sharing her story too broadly.Jeanne McMains [00:26:36]:Sure. But fast forward, 3 years later, she’s a sophomore in high school. We’re up teachingmoms of young children, on how to fix how to heal heal that those broken relationships. And then, you know, she just got married a year and a half ago and I was blessed. She asked me tobe her matron of honor. And so God heals those stories when we hand them over to him.Kim Moeller [00:27:00]:Well, and he so uses thank you for sharing that. I mean, he so uses our kids to shape us. Youknow, our little ones, they’re being shaped by us as the mom or the dad, but we’re being so changed. You know, like if we had, yeah, 20 kids, each one would be bringing out a different side of us. And it’s really interesting.
Empathy
You mentioned empathy. It reminds me of when I worked in Chicago, we serviced a 401 ks plan for a company that had a 150,000 employees, a defense contractor. And this boss that I worked with really understood empathy at that point, and we paid this outside consulting firm, for a full day.Kim Moeller [00:27:43]:Everyone came in on a Saturday just to do empathy training so that when people would call into the office and they would say their spouse died or they just lost 100 of 1,000 of dollars in their 401(k) plan, We knew how to respond. And I look back now,and I think that was so genius.And it taught me really at a young age the difference of when someone says, well, my dog died.And, you know, oftentimes people are like, well, I had a golden and I also you know, and they go down that path and you’re like,but what about my dog that just passed away yesterday? And there’s no empathy.
But the power of that empathy and you’ve probably seen that video on YouTube, It’s Not About the Nail. Have you seen that with the that’s just the best, you know,where she hasthe nail in her head and he sees the nail, but she doesn’t want him to fix it, pullout the nail. She just wants the empathy, the compassion. And and like you said earlier, the thepiece about those relationships, you know, those safe relationships in our lives, I do think, arethe the relationships where we feel seen, we feel heard.Kim Moeller [00:28:49]:And it’s funny how just that validation of, it sounds like you’re really sad right now. It sounds likethat must be really challenging. And we found this out with that training. Like, if they called in and said, well, my spouse passed away and, you know, well, it sounds like it must be really hard. They’re like, no. It’s not. And they’d go off, you know, or whatever. It would give us thechance to identify that emotion.
Kim Moeller [00:29:10]:And if we were wrong, then they would correct us. And so it was really that releasing of the pressure. It was like turning the pressure valve, allowing those emotions to to get out of the wayso then we could handle, you know, and service the 4 zero one k plan. But that’s just I really love how you shared the story and how I’m sure in these relationships with all of the families you’ve served since then, you Jeanne McMains [00:29:36]:It does. It it allows me, yeah, it allows me to approach it in a totally different way, because it’s not a problem to solve. It’s a compassion that I can provide as well and to say, wow, it hurts.And there’s nothing more important than inviting the Lord and to help heal those things in his perfect way and timing. You know, there were a couple of books in that season that were just phenomenal, and, I am not a professional counselor by any means. Again, that’s going to be my daughter someday. That’s your daughter. Yeah.Jeanne McMains [00:30:07]:But the head of HR at Focus on the Family had recommended a book at that time to me called Please Understand Me by the Kerseys. And it took the Myers Briggs, but it paired it up indifferent types Kim Moeller [00:30:17]:of Yes. I love that book.Jeanne McMains [00:30:18]:Yes. It’s fantastic. And,Kim Moeller [00:30:20]:you know,
Jeanne McMains [00:30:20]:it had parent child pairings, and it also helped then with my son. Funny story about eachparenting each child uniquely in this season where I’m, like, learning about all of this. And I went into my son’s room. He was, like, junior in high school then, and I said, you know,Christian, I just want you to know, I think that all these years, you know, I I always try to, like,suppress the hard emotions. They just move right to the solution. And I just I wanna apologize because I think it’s important that we learn how to, like, process through the challenging emotions that we have so that we can process through those and learn from them. And I don’t remember what I said. He was playing a video game, and he looked up, and he was like, do youfeel better? And IKim Moeller [00:31:02]:was like, yeah. I think so. And he goes, that was it. I mean, you you didn’t need that.Jeanne McMains [00:31:07]:But, you know, it was really important for Sarah and I.Kim Moeller [00:31:10]:That is so cute. Okay. That reminds me. The reason I know that book is I got my master’s degree at, SMU. And one of my favorite classes was the Lively Mind Creative and Critical Thinking, and we studied that book in that class. So with the Myers Briggs, you have a total of16 combinations, which is 4 categories of 4. And so she took the class, and there were probably 25 of us in the class, and had us sit according to those 4groups. Well, one of the groups, there was nobody in for this master’s degree education.Kim Moeller [00:31:46]:And, you know, we would do things like, okay. How are you gonna plan your vacation? And thenthis group would plan it, and this one would be like, oh, you just show up in Hawaii. We don’t even plan it. You know? And it was just you’d look at the people who were like you and then the people who weren’t, and it was fascinating. But this one group had nobody in it. The the overall category was the Dionysian group, and, really, that group is like the Evil Knievels, the risktakers, the astronauts, and she’s like, no. I rarely see people in grad school in this categorybecause they don’t have a need for higher education. Like, they’re out there.Jeanne McMains [00:32:22]:And I thought itKim Moeller [00:32:23]:was So fascinating. So yes, that I’m glad you brought that bucket. That’s That was a great book.Jeanne McMains [00:32:28]:Mhmm. I I think the other one at that time, if we have anybody joining us today who’s just in a situation with their family, whether it’s their husband or their kids or maybe it’s a work scenario,but it’s our family didn’t have a lot of skills to deal with conflict. We just did it.
How We Love
And so, there was another book called, How We Love by the Yerkovich’s that took you through, like, different typesof responses, whether you’re a vacillator or a victim or a controller or a voyager. And it wasreally helpful toour family in that season as we read it together. And then it wasn’t to put a labelon any of us. That’s really you can misapply these things. Right? It was to help us understandone another so that we could love one another and their unique wiring.Jeanne McMains [00:33:12]:I think that’s really important. SoKim Moeller [00:33:14]:Well and shout out to that counseling center in Orange County because it’s now calledrelationship 180, and they provided counseling at reduced rates to all of the Saddleback Churchstaff. So when my husband was the pastor there, we took advantage of it, and it was lifechanging. It was so, so helpful. And I was just so grateful because when you’re on the minister’ssalary, you know, finances are tight, and it was just so wonderful that they provided that. So ohmy goodness. Okay. I feel like we could talk forever, and I wanna make sure we we stay ontrack with 2 last things. One is, what else do you wanna share with the family office and and thegenerosity side before we get to our favorite bible verse book and bargain.Jeanne McMains [00:34:00]:Okay. Fantastic. Well, I’ve been comparing kind of family legacies to business succession. Andso, you know, identify purpose, make sure the next generation of leadership ownership is ready, prepared, engaged, and relationships are strong. The third one is we make sure that we’re planning for impact. Like, if I’m a business, every activity and dollar I spend is aimed ataccomplishing the goals. And in the family context, I think this applies for estate planning.
And I mentioned that earlier, so I don’t need to go too much more into it.Jeanne McMains [00:34:29]:But when we’re thinking about what we want the inheritance to do in the lives of our children,I’ve had so many conversations with husbands and wives where it’s like, well, how much do youthink we should leave? Well, I don’t know. What would be a blessing? What would be a stumbling block? How much is too much? How much is not enough? And those are hardquestions to answer esoterically. And certainly between a husband and wife getting on the same page, which is challenging even with sometimes very concrete facts. So some of thoseexercises, like, what do I hope the inheritance would do in the life of, you know, that child? Andwhat do I anticipate based on their life trajectory? What would happen? Because at the end ofthe day, it’s not about the stuff. It’s about the story being written in that child’s life that the Lordwants to continue to unfold, for their good and his glory. And so I really encourage clients tothink through. Before you get your head into the weeds on all of the dollars and the taxes andthe trusts, which you do need to get there, that’s really not the main thing. It’s identifying theimpact.Jeanne McMains [00:35:28]:And then the 4th area is outward reach. And so once again, I already touched a little bit of onthat, but we hadn’t kinda organized it that way. So, you know, we wanna identify purpose, prepare the next generation, get them ready. We want toplan for impact, meaning to what endare we wanting these resources to fuel? And then an outward reach that that’s a story that’s bigger than ours. And so what good in the world or what impact do we as a family wanna havethrough our service and through our giving? And just even our the contribution of our hands orour gifts. So I think that’s that’s a really helpful thing to keep in mind. I hope that’s a helpful fourpart framework. I don’t care if you have a taxable estate or not.Jeanne McMains [00:36:11]:We’re called to steward the resources and the relationships in our lives well. So Kim Moeller [00:36:17]:So well said. And I like how you called out earlier just that there can be themes, whether it’s the creator theme. But then, you know, sometimes that child doesn’t have that same gifting, and soit’s figuring out that new theme that God’s trying to weave into that family story. And, yes, that’sbeautiful to focus on the relationship as well, not just the resources. Well, I know you’ve helpedso many people. Wow. And I know you’re I’m just praying over this conversation that there’sespecially one listener that’s going to hear what you’re saying and and take the next step. You know, maybe it is setting up a a meeting with someone from NCF to help get their head around.Jeanne McMains [00:36:59]:We’d be delighted. Like, can we have a given strategy that can take people through it’s even like an online tool. So if you connect with one of our local offices, they could set you up with a code to access it, but it it’s private. It takes through some exercises you can even do as a family around, you know, what’s our family thoughts about money and resources and what passions and causes do we have and what could God be calling our family. And so those are just somefun learning opportunities for people to self explore.Kim Moeller [00:37:29]:Yes. Yes. And go to ncfgiving.com and you will see the section about the giving strategy. But like Jeanne mentioned, we do have these offices throughout the United States and certainly not just out here in California or Georgia where Jeanne is, but there’s the power also of not just the tool, but the community, the community of like minded people who are wanting to steward their resources well and their time, their talents, their treasures. So I know if you connect with the local office, you’ll be amazed with the people that are in that office and the the new connections that you’ll find as a result of getting connected there. So, so good. Okay.
Favorite Book, Bible Verse, and Bargain
You’ve shared a couple of really great books.Kim Moeller [00:38:12]:Those are honestly my favorites as well, but any current book you’re reading along with your Bible verse?Jeanne McMains [00:38:18]:I do. You know, I’m joking. Like, you were like 2 pillars. I’m like, well, can I do 3? And so if you ask me about a book of all time, it would be a W.Tozer’s Pursuit of God. I’ve been reading and, honestly, I read that for the first time in that crisis season I mentioned earlier today. And so evenhave the tattoo on my arm to, you know, remember that. But currently, I’m absolutely loving everything byDallas Willard, and I’m loving Divine Conspiracy as I’m reading that right now.That’s my current go to love to read.Jeanne McMains [00:38:51]:So that’s it’s a great book.
Kim Moeller [00:38:54]:And what about bible verse? Do you have a life verse?Jeanne McMains [00:38:58]:Psalm 34 has been a favorite since high school. Love it. But right now, I’ve really been struckand praying through regularly 2nd Peter 1 verses 5 through 9, and pressing into, you know,adding all of these goodness and learning and wisdom into brotherly love and brotherly affectionand love. And so that’s one that’s been really pressing on my heart these days.Kim Moeller [00:39:25]:Wow. Thank you. And how about a recent bargain?Jeanne McMains [00:39:29]:This one I had a hardtime on because and my husband is cracking up laughing because I’m not much of a shopper. But I asked him, I’m like, what do you think my bargains have been lately?And and my favorite thing that has brought me the most joy this year is mister Byrd flaming hot feast wild bird seed cylinder. Okay? So I love nature. Our backyard is this just beautiful little tiny,but wooded sanctuary, and our we were spending so many dollars on bird seed because thesquirrels. Right? And so these are phenomenal by the way,Mr Birds flaming hot feast, it’s aseed cake and the birds absolutely eat it up and the squirrels can’tKim Moeller [00:40:11]:Wow. IJeanne McMains [00:40:12]:got it on Amazon. So Oh,Kim Moeller [00:40:13]:that’s cool.Jeanne McMains [00:40:14]:If you don’t have anybody who likes birds on our on our listening here today, it’s a great one.Kim Moeller [00:40:19]:That’s a good Thanks. Super practical tip. Well, God bless you and just all the new relationshipsI’m sure that are gonna continue to come your way throughout 2024 and beyond. Thank you for just giving of yourself and your brilliant mind and just you’re a blessing. And NCF, wow, havingyou on staff for 20 years is we’re grateful.Jeanne McMains [00:40:44]:Thank you, Kim. Thank you for inviting me on this amazing podcast. I love what you’re doing and encouraging women and stories around generosity. So love it. Blessings to you.Kim Moeller [00:40:56]:Alright. Well, right back at you. Thanks again. God bless. Thank you. Thanks so much for joining us today on the Generous Grill podcast. We’re so glad that you’re here. And if you know of someone that you think needs to be a guest on this podcast, please reach out to us.Kim Moeller [00:42:11]:New episodes are released every other week, and you can follow us on YouTube and on all platforms. Thanks for being here, and we’ll see you next time.
