- Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:00:02]:When we’re able to contribute, when we’re able to give back, when we have purpose and it gives us meaning, it’s actually a very powerful antidote to some of the problems that we’re seeing in regards to social media, depression, and anxiety.
Introduction
- Kim Moeller [00:00:21]:Well, we’re so glad you’re here. Today is the day to share about Latina women in business, nonprofits, trips to Colombia, Journeys of Generosity, Generous Giving, wives, moms, and how these two young women are doing it all, doing it all for the Kingdom of God, and figuring out a way to balance it all. And, I think you’re really really going to love their stories. So thanks for tuning in.
- Kim Moeller [00:00:51]:Welcome back to the Generous Girl podcast. Today, I have two special guests. So we’re going to have a threesome interview with Karen Vergara and Alicia La Hoz. And they are two fast friends who found each other a couple of years ago. Doctor Alicia La Hoz is actually a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder and director of a nonprofit in Chicago called Family Bridges that focuses on marriage and relationship education. And she has quite extensive experience in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and trips with women that I really want you all to hear about. And then she met Karen, and I’ll let them tell you how they met.
- Karen is a financial advisor who lives in Orlando and recently went on an incredible journey of spiritual and physical healing and feels like her calling is really to help women to redefine wealth and success and steward their resources wisely to impact the kingdom of God.
- Kim Moeller [00:01:55]:So I think having the conversation with the three of us is really going to be worth your while. We’re so happy that you’re listening and welcome Karen and Alicia.
- Karen Vergara [00:02:05]:Thank you for having us, Kim.
Connections
- Kim Moeller [00:02:08]:It’s a treat to be with you both, and I’d love to start off the story with how the two of you met.
- Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:02:15]:Yeah. Do you want to start, Karen?
- Karen Vergara [00:02:18]:I’ll start. I can share. I think it’s a really incredible story of how God brought us together. I was in a season of really working on my desire to become a more generous person. Generosity doesn’t necessarily come really easy to me. I think it has to do with the fact that I am a left-brained person that, you know, likes numbers because I’m a CPA by trade. When I look at the numbers, they need to make sense. So I was in a season of really trying to become more generous.
- Karen Vergara [00:02:54]:And so I had asked Todd Harper, who is very well known in this community with Generous Giving. I asked him to help me, find a mentor on generosity. And so we were going through that process of of finding someone and he did find someone here locally. I live in Orlando.
- Karen Vergara [00:03:15]:And, then one day he sends me an email and says, hey, Karen, I met Alicia and she is looking for Latinas in this generosity space. She would love to talk to someone that is also interested in generosity, who is a woman and who is Latina. And so Alicia and I connected virtually, a couple of years ago, and our friendship has blossomed into something really beautiful where now we took a wonderful trip together to Colombia, and I just admire her so much because she has such an entrepreneurial spirit, with an incredible family and background. And that’s just, again, God putting us together and being a wonderful way to connect and how really God is doing all the work.
- Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:04:11]: I would just say that I love the divine connection and even the generosity that people have in making those connections, you know, taking their time to do that, and you just never know what it would spur into. I was doing some research, with Family Bridges, five years of research on a program. It’s this idea where we work with established organizations, ministry leaders in their community, and we equip them in marriage and family programs that they roll out. And it includes leadership development, includes, it’s more like consulting, working with them right side by side and and then encouraging them to roll these programs, parenting classes, couples retreats, you know, programs for children to adults, conflict management, finance. Right? This whole marriage and family sphere, but a lot of mostly Latino led organizations, or in communities. And so we work with quite a lot, about 30 plus affiliates. We call them affiliates, organizations that we accompany with as they roll out marriage and family programs in the Chicagoland area and some other states and overseas.
Five Year Study
- And so we were doing this five year study and, you know, I was looking at marriage and does this program work and, you know, these kinds of things.
- Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:05:20]:And we did it with a couple of universities. And one of the universities came back and they had a student look at a specific thing. They were looking at the women and their responses, and they came back with all this research.So, unbeknownst to me, they looked at the area of money, and they looked at, Latina women and money. And it just heightened, you know, some of the things that I had seen and observed. Mhmm. And, you know, there were a couple of other things, how God works. I was very curious about what is it about the Latina community and generosity?
- What does that look like? And what are the marriage and familial and cultural components around that? And so the research just blossomed into that.
- Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:05:58]:And so I just started tolook beyond the marriage and family field and say, what’s going on? What is the conversation around generosity? And, you know, what am I missing here that I didn’t even have an idea about in the marriage and family space? And that’s where the connection led to. You know, I serve on the board of Family Life. And, basically, one of the leaders there connected me to Todd Harper. And then, yeah, the rest is history.
- Kim Moeller [00:06:30]:That is great, Alicia. So mentioning the statistics that you found, I know before we got on the podcast, we were just talking about how I haven’t been able to have Latina women on the podcast, and I’m so grateful for both of you being here. And as you know, I live in Southern California. So many many people from Mexico and, you know, other South American, Central American countries. Two of my kids are fluent in Spanish. They like to tease me that I speak Swedish and that doesn’t really help when you live in Southern California. But, you know, you’re just seeing so many people are bilingual here and the power of women anywhere across the country, across the world. But you were saying 1,100,000 Latina women hold advanced degrees.
- Kim Moeller [00:07:19]:And then, and the buying power of the women is like $1,200,000,000,000 and growing, I’m sure, you know, every day. So talk about the trip that you all went on to Columbia and then how thatColumbia trip relates to your organization, Family Bridges.
- Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:07:40]:Yeah. Thank you so much for highlighting just how many Latinos are in the United States. And, yeah, just they’re they’re buying. They’re trying to provide for their families. And overwhelmingly, Latinos are entrepreneurs, so they see a lot of different businesses overarching in that. One of the things that over the years we’ve done is retreats. Right? Family camps. And you think about marriage and family, and you do these getaways to try to encourage that.
Marriage and the Family Unit
- Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:08:06]:We’ve worked with, like I said, affiliates to do that. And, you know, then COVID hit and we all had to do online things, and so we have been bringing that back up. But for us, it’s more like, oh, how do we encompass and bring the whole family? Years ago, we did some research in Latin America with a researcher there, and he would ask couples to draw a picture of the family. Can you draw a picture of the family? He would say, draw a picture of your marriage. And when they draw a picture of their marriage, it would include the family. And then they did that in comparison to North America or just different countries, and you would typically see marriage including just the couple unit. And so I think for a lot of Latino led individuals, you know, the family, they’re thinking of marriage as the covenant that extends for the whole family.And so that’s one element.
- Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:08:51]:The other element is a high incidence of trauma in a lot of the, individuals that we work with fo ra lot of different reasons. Trauma meaning not just experiences of violence because of the countries that they grew up with, but also things like divorce, you know, substance abuse, just things that you grew up and or see in your community. That, also kind of creates a sense of, well, I don’t trust others with my kids. You know, there’s just too much going on. So being able to go away for a family or a couple is really just – it’s a struggle. We’ve worked extensively with Latino families and couples. And for them to just pull away as a couple unit by themselves, you have to address a lot of issues. Like, who’s going to watch their kids? Just very basic.
- Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:09:33]:Not just financially being able to do that, but just all these elements of trust, safety, you know? Not comfortable. So for us, the couples getaway is harder. It’s not that it’s not you know, you do definitely do see a lot of couples go to get away, and that is important. But for a lot of the community, being able to take out the whole family, kind of slowly start getting them to that phase makes a lot of sense. So we were looking at generosity and then how would we try to encourage the family to be able to be involved in that. We looked at it again from that systemic,that family based arena, not just the couple, but how can we include the whole family, to be able to participate in this?
- Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:10:13]:So that kind of started us
- And then, [Kim Moeller [00:10:15]:what did they do? And tell us how you spent the time in Colombia with that group of people on that kind of vision trip, I guess you could call it.
- Karen Vergara [00:10:26]:Yeah. So the idea was really because of conversations, past conversations with Alicia where we understood and I was pregnant at the time when we had these conversations of, oh, what would it look like to do a retreat? And at the time, we had not connected doing, like, human generosity, but just doing a trip to somewhere else. And because Alicia had done so many of these, I was actually kind of tapping into her brain and asking her questions like, how do you do this? And who do you use to help you in this area? So, asking her lots of questions, about that and and her just being really generous with the information and offering, well, this is how we’ve done it in the past. Because in my head, I had just some sort of vision of how can we create a trip that will bring the family together so you can bring the kids. Actually, they would want them to be part of it. I had gone through a situation in 2021, where my view of money, my personal view of money was being challenged. And one of those things was through a JOG, a Journey of Generosity retreat. And, with that, I I really wanted that to be kind of the central focus of bringing families, talking about generosity, and then also doing something that kind of take saction and allows the Holy Spirit to not only work in us mentally, but also what can we do right now.
Visiting Columbia
- Karen Vergara [00:11:51]:So the trip was, how I envisioned it was – let’s take families to Colombia, which is where I’m from, where I grew up. I grew up there, and I moved to the US when I was 11. So that was home for me.
- Kim Moeller [00:12:03]:Mhmm.
- Karen Vergara [00:12:04]:So let me take some families to Columbia. And, we’re going to do a Journey of Generosity in one day. And the way we did it was that the kids were entertained while the adults were, doing the retreat. Right? So for these families that were there, like, the kids are around, we get to see them and interact with them, but we’re still a part of doing the retreats. We would have the meals together, the breaks together, and so that’s kind of how we, frame that. And then we also had some adventure and some fun, and we just, you know, did some touristy things as well. And then lastly, on the last day, what we did was we did a mission day. So we went to a local nonprofit and we served, and we just had our day there.
- Karen Vergara [00:12:55]:So we actually served a couple of non-profits. So I like to think of it as a family and friends adventure where we had generosity, adventure, and fun, and then also, at the end, that mission day. So it was sort of kind of, mission driven, activity.
- Kim Moeller [00:13:15]:Oh, that’s grea with the world being so global in today’s world. My kids spent a month down in Colombia and some other countries working remotely. So it’s just so much more accessible now than than it used to be. So I love exposing the kids with the parents to a foreign culture and then having it be intentional and purposeful and going through the material of a JOG. And, Karen, you alluded to going to an earlier JOG and how it really changed some paradigms for you and you’re a Certified Financial Planner. Can you explain that a little bit about maybe just how your own view of generosity changed or expanded as a result of being a part of the JOG?
- Karen Vergara [00:14:03]:Yeah. So back in 2021, I had just a moment where because I’m a CPA by trade and had been, working as an accountant. But at this point, I had started and established that profession as a financial adviser. I felt very much called to do financial advising. And but during this time, I was dealing with a chronic illness, and doctors, had told me that there’s nothing that they could do for me, that my case was so complex that they just could not help me anymore.And so I just took a step back and said, okay. Well, I’m going to have to live with this condition for the rest of my life. And, through just a lot of different other things that happened in our lives, in my life and my husband’s life, when during this time financially, God was even challenging the things that we had seen as important or valuable.
Untreatable Health Issues
- Karen Vergara [00:15:05]:And so one included health, other included family, and we were also trying to dig deep. I had been married to my husband for about 8 years and I did not know if I wanted to have children. I got married telling him I did not want to have children and he knew that and he accepted that. And but I think at this point I was, you know, a little bit past 30 and saying, okay, the clock is ticking. If this is really what I want, I need to kind of have an answer. And so I just had to go dig deep and back to Alicia’s point of mental, you know, and then trauma. I had some unprocessed childhood trauma that I had to work through. And, you know, through a lot of different, avenues, realized that God wanted me to start a family with my husband.
- Karen Vergara [00:15:56]: So just a lot of healing had to happen. But in that time, I was also asking questions to God about money and starting with the treasure principle,
Journey of Generosity (JOG)
Reading the treasure principle, reading God and money and just different books about money and realizing, oh, maybe my view of wealth has been erroneous. Maybe it’s not what money really should be used for, not just building and building and creating this net worth and even helping clients do the same? Is there something more to it? And as I dug deeper into this, I came across doing a JOG. So I did a JOG, in 2021 and it just completely changed my mindset around money. I mean, it just there’s just one story in particular that, the Barnhart story where I’ve always been called to business. I’ve always been called the desire to be in business, but then to see that you build a business, but you give it all away pretty much. I mean, to me that was just radical.
Karen Vergara [00:17:04]:And so that’s really what, shifted a lot of things for us. And here also I want to just add that my husband is an incredibly generous person. He is the most generous person I know and on the other hand, I I like to think that it’s because, you know, my brain but I think I had an issue with connecting my heart and my mind. So my desire was to be generous. My mind and my calculations and my spreadsheets did not allow me to be. Totally did not allow me to just be open- handed. And so, yeah, so that’s kind of how we ended up in a place where, we finally aligned. I think I came just to his side, like, oh, I understand why you you are such a giver and I understand that it is more blessed to give than to receive. And so that was through a JOG.
Karen Vergara [00:17:59]:And, yeah, I mean, the rest is history. It’s been a great transformation since then.
Kim Moeller [00:18:04]:I love that and how it’s affected your personal life, but also your career as a certified financial planner and CPA. And okay. So, Alicia, when you hear her story and, you know, Karen has a little 14 month old. You’re a little further down the road with your kids being, I guess, what, almost 11 and 15, a boy and a girl. Tell us how you have incorporated a JOG into this trip to Colombia. Because on The Generous Girl, we like to focus on 2 of the 5 pillars. So on this episode, we’re focusing on faith and then also with, friendships and also we’re weaving in finances as well. But I would love to hear your thoughts on being a little further down the road in your career with the ages of your kids and how you have woven generosity into your family and using your whole platform of Family Bridges.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:19:06]:Yeah. I think hearing Karen’s story and then thinking so many women like Karen and myself finding ourselves in that same struggle and going, how can we amplify this experience? How can we give this JOG, you know, that Journey of Generosity in however form or shape culturally makes sense, but expand it to those 1,000,000 Latinas and more that then can take that to and their families?
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:19:30]:And they can take that to their communities, to their schools, and to their church. And so, you know, because they care about community, they want to give back, they’re also caring for their own families, and they have strong leadership and a strong desire to be able to have our kids flourish and our families flourish. So I’m right away kind of that visionary, like, oh, my goodness. What would happen if we get all of us on board? Right? Big thinking. But bringing it back home early on when my kids were not even a year old, when my yeah. I remember my daughter being, like ,less than a year old and my son just being, like, 3 or 4. My husband and I decided to do a family vision statement. And, in it, we talked about how we would want our kids to be these generous giants that could serve.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:20:14]:And I can’t even repeat everything that was in that vision statement. I just know we created an album and it was there and it was something we kind of from time to time. But I think just doing the process and being really thoughtful about how we would imbue that and infuse that in our in our life and in how we would make choices, it really helped us align that. And so that meant that for us, we would make very specific decisions in our finances and our experiences that would ensure that our kids would be a part of that and that we would also be able to be free and create margin in our lives. So that meant let’s live simply. Let’s let’s pay down as much of our debt as we can. Let’s, you know, not get into way more than what we can handle so that we can, you know, go with our kids and, you know, have these trips overseas. So they’ve been able to come with us since little to different states overseas, because of that and just give them that experience.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:21:07]:But locally, how can we, encourage that they can serve? So if our church has an opportunity, can we possibly be a part of that? Our neighbor, you know, what does he need? Can we go and help? And so, like, this summer, my son, helped a neighbor who had a problem and another church member, and they needed to get their deck fixed. So they were out there, you know, fixing that deck, something just very tangible. And then we did this Journey of Generosity trip as a family. So expensive, right, to take 4 of us overseas and running a non for profit. How can we able to do that? Well, I mean, God provides in amazing ways, but it’s just that intentionality, and it’s being able to make those choices and decisions.
So practically, like, we just never had cable in our house. We didn’t pay for those things. It just gives us more funds to be able to do that.
Dr. Alicia De Hoz [00:21:54]:We’re not, you know, we just started cooking at home. So that allows us to just have more resources financially to be able to do that. And so just like this whole mentality of generosity that involves our finances, our kids now sell things, because they’ve been to be able to then reserve some of those funds to send them to some of the orphanages and schools that we have visited, and they have this direct connection. So they were making things all the time to be able to sell, and then we match it as a parent. And so it’s like this whole thing about how can we contribute, and whereby no, shape and means, you know, would we be considered a wealthy family if you will. We’ll just, you know, we’ll just start doing life and then seeing ways that we can steward the resources that God has provided, and then make it a whole family experience.
Kim Moeller [00:22:46]:I love that. Well and like you said, with the Latina culture involving the whole family, that’s such a perfect practical way to do that. So thank you for for sharing that. And then, Karen, when you mentioned the story about Alan and Katherine Barnhart, I just wanted to do a shout out for the listener. If you go on YouTube and you Google Alan and Katherine Barnhart, you’ll see a 17 minute video that does tell their story and how they literally gave away the entire company to the National Christian Foundation who I work with. And they capped their salaries for Alan and his brother and then they said, you know, we’re going to put 50% back into the business and then we’re going to invest 50% in missions. And it wasn’t long before that 50% was a $1,000,000 a month and that grew and that grew. And they really saw their company as being a funding vehicle for God’s work all around the world and it just kept growing and growing and growing.
Kim Moeller [00:23:42]:So I agree with you. That is a very, very powerful video and just such a reflection of generosity. And what I love just speaking of the children, Alicia, is, you know, his kids, they always understood that company was not their families and that the parents had given it away, but it wasn’t theirs to keep. So someone asked him when I was in an evening meeting that Alan was at in Orange County, what about your kids and how did they respond to that? And he was not caught off guard, but it was sort of like, well, it wasn’t an issue at all because they never thought it was their money. Their company was the Lord’s. So I love how steps like that that people take, just how we all are iron sharpening iron. And, you know, you hear a story and think, okay, so what can I do and incorporate in my own life? How can I be more intentional with our own situation, our own finances, our own kids? And that’s how the community of God works as we all, encourage one another to run the race and, you know, be as productive and obedient to what God’s calling each of us to do.
Kim Moeller [00:24:53]:My life journey is different than yours, Karen, than yours, Alicia. And we all know we’re all very unique that way.
Mental Health
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:25:00]:You know, today, you see and you hear mental health being such a critical crisis, with teenage girls particularly since the 2020, you know, 2010, but it’s just skyrocketing. And now it’s like mental health is just such a big issue. And then with boys, still mental health, but you see it more as an entry for gaming and then, you know, things like pornography. So you hear social media and its impact and how that has somehow had a role with depression. And families are struggling, and they just don’t know what to do with this. And the way I’m bringing it back full circle with generosity is because often times, at least for us, generosity has not been part of the conversation in the marriage and family world. It had been more like our character.
When you think about perseverance, when you think about the covenant,when you think of love, you think of all these things, communication, conflict resolution, very important things in terms of character and skills.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:25:50]:But we weren’t really tapping into or having conversations around generosity. And yet so much of the research and even individually, you just receive you have so much joy when you’re able to give. And when we were doing the Journey of Generosity, we were talking about like, wow, this is really a couple’s journey of growth as well. And it’s a marriage enrichment opportunity. And often times, you don’t phrase it like that. Or at least I had not been phrasing it in the Family Bridges world. And where I’m going back full circle with mental health is that when we’re able to contribute, when we’re able to give back, when we have purpose and it gives us meaning, it’s actually very powerful antidote to some of the problems that we’re seeing in regards to social media, depression, anxiety because it kind of is all, you know, back to back. And so if we actually are able to put that as a bedrock in our families and be really thoughtful, it is incredibly valuable as a way to inoculate, if you will, your children from some of the problems that we’re seeing as a result of social media.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:26:58]:I’ve seen that with my own kids and just other families that are being very intentional about that in different ways. That otherwise, you’re just looking around and you’re seeing kids suffering and falling as a consequence of social media. But when we’re able to contribute and do that togetherand have that spirit of generosity that it does help to counter some of that.
Kim Moeller [00:27:19]:That’s such a great call out. And I think understanding one’s purpose for adults is obviously paramount and important. But for children, you know, you see just even the value of the little 2 year old helping to empty the dishwasher and feeling like he or she has purpose in the family and is needed, is valued. And I I think, like you said, the being generous being that antidote because we’re needed. We’re needed. Maybe it’s our time in volunteering. Maybe it’s helping with the neighbor’s deck. Maybe it’s giving a little more this month than we thought we were going to give.
Kim Moeller [00:27:56]:But you’re right. We all play an important part in that feeling of being needed is so empowering for adults and children. What I liked also going back to you, Karen, on your website is you talk about with your financial planning firm that you’re a part of just helping in the vision statement a person understand their purpose so that they can live that, you know, kingdom-minded life. Is there anything you’d like to say about that, before we jump into the theme of we’ve all gone through hard things, and I want to make sure we have time for both of you to share what you wanted to share.
Karen Vergara [00:28:36]: Well, Kim, I think what I want to highlight is that we’re not supposed to do this alone. Like, clearly why this has been such a transformational journey for me these past years, it has been because through this process, I have gotten the honor and privilege to connect with so many people, including, like, Alicia, Todd Harper. I mean, I could have a running list of all the people that I have met through this process that as they are seeking God’s desire for their lives, then we are all interwoven. I mean, even before this call came, you and Dr. Alicia De Hoz :just connected.
Karen Vergara [00:29:22]:We have mutual friends in common, and it’s really this community that I feel that I’ve been invited into, and I’m not supposed to just run and do this alone. Right? So because I don’t have the whole plan thought out. So that’s just, again, an encouragement to folks that you’re not supposed to be doing any of this alone. And even the thinking about how you manage your wealth, like, you need to have an objective party, but also someone that has the right values and set in place that will guide you properly. And I think that we’re lacking a little bit of that, in the financial industry. However, there’s been tons of Kingdom Advisors through BlueTrust. Like, there are just other ways to connect with advisers that want to have those conversations with you. So, yeah, you’re not meant to do it alone, and it’s such a fun adventure to do it with friends and with your family.
Karen Vergara [00:30:20]:Clearly, it’s important, and it has generational impact. But when you get to do it in community, it is the most fun I’ve ever had in a really long time. Yeah. It’s so fun.
Kim Moeller [00:30:33]:It is so fun doing life together with like-minded people. Absolutely. Okay. So let’s hop back over to you, Alicia. And why don’t you share what you shared with me and Karen about just when you reach just a crossroads in your company and how you needed to take that step of faith to go to the next level, how it wasn’t easy, and and how you overcame that adversity in your own life?
At a Crossroads
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:31:01]:Yeah. Well, with Family Bridges, 20 years, you know, just this experiment of taking psychology from your traditional setting of the couch that you have a picture of in the movies to where people are at, you know, kind of this more mobile idea of being able to take these concepts and take them to where they are at. So that’s school, church, community, these existing pinnacles of education that are already established. And so we have done that for a long time and had the opportunity to start under Meier Clinics. Many know that organization nationally, a mental health organization. So they really, wrapped around this vision and this idea early on when I was doing my internship and and later stayed at my post doc and supported, me and and our team to be able to write these grants, with this idea of how what happens if a lot of us get together and care about strengthening marriages and families, in low income communities. And so we, you know, rallied a lot of organizations and developed this model, and we applied for some grants, and we succeeded. So for 15 years, we received $30,000,000 of which we, under a collective impact model, gave away close to 14,000,000 with these other organizations.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:32:12]:And we did the back end of that. So, we delivered services, but we also ensured the outcomes, the training, the curriculums. And so we had all these organizations running marriage and family programs from youth to adults. So whether it was an organization working with youth or not, they would be doing that. Whether it was Salvation Army, doing the family camps, they would be doing that. So there’s quite an array of organizations, churches, altogether having this relationship, university, about 10,000 people or so a year under that. And so it was a beautiful journey. As we evolved through the years, people, including Meier said, you know, this is beyond counseling.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:32:48]:So we ended up, following suit and submitting our organization non for profit status. And then it was like, oh, we need to become an organization and we need to build a board. So there was several years trying to figure that out. As we did all this and we got written up as best practice approach, people were like, can you bring this to Phoenix? Can you bring this to, you know, Costa Rica? Can you bring and it was like, what? We were funded by a grant. So I pulled away from that and our team and our board and advisors. It was time to write develop some other models and look at the infrastructure. And just a lot of business leaders got together and helped us create business models. So when we’re doing that, it just came and it was just conflicting with the federal funding model that we had received to help us lay a great foundation.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:33:33]: We did great work, but it just also suffocated the creativity and the work and the need. So we did come to terms that it was very clear we either had to keep going that route or diverge to be able to become more sustainable and more global. So when the funding came, we applied for a youth opportunity that was less or intense. You know, we were, like, 90% funded through these federal grants. It was just not healthy. And so, we decided only to go this route, and we didn’t receive that funding. So I was like, okay. You know, we had brought the whole team, all the partners, and together, we decided it was a hard decision because all of these organizations, it was, like, 200 plus staff, not directly with us.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:34:13]:But, you know, as we were funding them with basically grants, if you will, mini-grants or contracts, to deliver programs and services. And, you know, just to pull that away, it was definitely hard. That was right before the pandemic hit. Wow. So that was hard to be able to make a decision of basically deconstructing all this that you have built up to follow a greater vision on trust. And that made faith. That meant, you know, we had a salary, and now I was like, oh, I’m going to pull myself out of the salary of Family Bridges to be able to build just a more healthy organization that sets up the organization for success. And I think if I do that, my husband and I just felt like if we did that, that would help us also in that.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:34:54]:So just kind of going from safety plunging. And it wasn’t a matter of we didn’t know how to apply for grants. It was literally we need to make a decision if we want to be able to, incorporate more of the faith and be able to grow. And we just felt that strong sense that God was calling us to something more. And we have had so many conversations with our board and our partners, and it was like, we’re either going to perpetually just be a grant-funded organization or we’re going to need to make some decisions. So that was a hard time. And then right then, COVID hit. And you’re just like, and how are we going to pay our bills? You know? But it’s just been amazing how God has provided faithfully for the organization as well as for us personally and just have open doors that were just beyond our dreams.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:35:41]:And every day, it just surprises us with amazing experiences like Columbia. I mean, that was just wonderful. So just beautiful gifts of being able to live by God’s mercy. Now I do have to say that I’m a PK, and I did grow up in a home where a pastor’s kid for anyone listening. Yeah. A pastor’s kid. Yeah. And, you know, I just grew up with such a strong faith.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:36:02]:My parents lived it, not just spoke it. And my husband was the one that was financed, you know, dot the i’s, and cross the t’s. And so for him, it’s more like, what are we doing? And to me, it’s like, oh, God will provide. So it’s not that we don’t fear it, but just having that growing up with just seeing God’s provision in miraculous ways, it does something to you that it does kind of create a little bit more of calm. So we just have to struggle with that as a couple and as a family. Yeah.
Kim Moeller [00:36:27]:So was the federal funding then replaced by donors that, like, popped into your database or you met, like, individuals?
Dr. Alicia De Hoz [00:36:36]:Oh, we had to be working on it little bit by little bit. But, you know, it was just kind of felt like I was married to the grant. Right? I was just like every week going to be able to run this massive program and also kind of try to pull the organization. And then just the ways they were it felt like, completely different in alignment of what we were trying to do. So, yeah, we were 6% we’ve now we’re 60/40, so we’re still working on it. So it’s a mixture of contracts and donations and foundations and donors. Yeah. Still working on it, but, you know.
Kim Moeller [00:37:09]:Yeah. Well, you both are such rock stars. I mean, honestly, what you’re doing in your space as moms, as wives.I love doing these podcasts because I feel as if I was just talking to you both on Zoom, I would really want a lot of people to be able to hear the story and the fact that we can do a podcast and I can say listen to Alicia’s story and Karen’s story and what God has done. I just think it’s such an encouragement for women. So I appreciate your transparency, your honesty. And, Karen, I know you have a very tender story to share in terms of what you have gone through with your husband. I’d love for you to share what you feel comfortable sharing.
The Deaf Community
Karen Vergara [00:37:46]:Yeah. Oh, no. We are an open book, and I think it’s, you know, we really believe that God has turned our our mourning into dancing, joyful dancing. So a year ago, we’re almost,yeah, just about a year exactly a year ago after you heard my story of just trying to figure out going through the healing process. We finally get pregnant. So excited. We have we welcome this beautiful baby boy into the world. And, about a year ago, we, got the news, and it was confirmed that he was born with permanent hearing loss.
Karen Vergara [00:38:22]:So he is, deaf. And at the time, I can truly tell you, you know, Alicia is witness to this because we had a meeting scheduled for that day to discuss this idea of like, hey, I want to do this retreat and I need to get, you know, pick your brain. And but that morning, I had just gotten the news that our son was diagnosed with hearing loss, and I was devastated. I mean, I don’t have any other way to put it, but I was in just grieving and then just truly, it felt like I was mourning, like, the idea of, God, here I am. I recommitted myself to you. I mean, there’s another story there. I did not believe in Jesus. So just try you know, here I am.
KarenVergara [00:39:03]:I believe in you now. I am so passionate about now this idea of generosity. You know, I feel so on fire for you and then you give me this, and you give this to our family and what is this going to mean for us? And, you know, as I leaned into that pain and using the word of God was truly my anchor because I, as I was leaning into this pain and this sorrow, I just went to the word and I felt that I needed to read Job. And so I read the whole book of Job and just saw the struggle between Job and even his friends because his friends were saying, hey. It’s okay. Like, you’re, you know, they’re trying to comfort him, but nobody could tell me anything that was comforting at that time. I mean, all my friends were like, it’s going to be okay. You’re a great mom.
Karen Vergara [00:39:54]:You were chosen for him. Like, I didn’t want to hear that. Right. This is not what I wanted for my child and definitely even for our family. So through the word of God, I start to find comfort in knowing that, okay, God sees me. God sees my pain. I can go to Him and lament, but also started asking why me? Like, why us? But in a what do you want from us, God? Like, if if you’re doing this, there’s gotta be a reason. You if you’re suffering, if what the word says is true and I believe it is true, then I need to know why are you doing this? And as I started, I mean, it was incredible. Like all of a sudden I start getting emails, I start doing research, find that the deaf is the largest unreached group of people in the world.
Karen Vergara [00:40:49]:My husband and I had started giving to Bible translation, so it was very much something that we were very much called to do before our baby when we realized there’s 300, almost 400 sign languages and only one has a full sign language translation. It’s the American sign language and it was done only a couple years ago and here are all these other people that don’t have that. I had even before started praying and had, desire to connect with the Colombian sign language team and this was a desire that God had placed in my heart when I was pregnant. So my baby still had not been born and just this this just something opened up, like a whole world opened up, where now we are so focused and now we see that our God had to break our heart for the deaf by giving us a son that is deaf.
And it is now the greatest honor, and it is truly the greatest honor of my life that God has chosen me to be the mom to this child because we have seen just beauty and miracle after miracle and yet he still has permanent hearing loss. That’s not going away, but God has transformed our heart, has given us compassion and love for those that have disabilities, you know, a desire to really reach these individuals and just now feeling like because of this, He has opened the doors into just meeting new people, people that have the heart for the deaf, even though they don’t have anyone that is deaf in their family. And just seeing that God really cares about this. God wants the deaf to hear about him, obviously not through their physical ears, but, you know, one of the most beautiful things that I think about is that my son, so 98% of the deaf don’t know Jesus Christ.
Karen Vergara [00:42:44]:So only 2% of them do. That and then also there’s just so many statistics. Another statistic is that, 90% of those who are deaf don’t have, education. So, you know, only 10% have proper education. So to just see and understand that God chose me.
Kim Moeller [00:43:04]:Yes.
Karen Vergara [00:43:04]:As my son’s mom, he’s going to be part of that 2% that know Jesus right away. He already knows about Jesus. He is going to have, you know, a life where he will have education, not like so many of the deaf in other countries. I mean, you know, the story of Masaka Creamery. Why did Jon start the company in Rwanda? Well, it’s because the deaf don’t have access to education, which means they don’t have access to jobs, which means that they end up poor, and they don’t know Jesus. Like, I mean talk about this wonderful group of people that deserve to know about Jesus Christ, that deserve education, that deserve to have their Bible in their heart language And so this is where I, you know, again, God has turned it around a year later. We can celebrate, you know, that day we look back, it was dark, it was gloomy.
Karen Vergara [00:43:53]:It was very, very dark for our family. And now we can just celebrate and say, look at all the things that God has done through this season. And we just can’t wait to see what he’s going to do moving forward because we’re just so excited about what this means for our family now.
Kim Moeller [00:44:10]:And the world. And I, I can’t wait to like, circle back, say, in a year or 2 and just even hear the new steps you’ve taken. It wouldn’t surprise me if you’re opening your own 501c3, you know, and focused on the deaf in America, overseas.
Karen Vergara [00:44:27]:Alicia will help me with that. Yes. She’s so excited.
Kim Moeller [00:44:33]:Oh, thank you so much for sharing and I know in each of our lives when we get those, you know, maybe it’s a health diagnosis for us personally, maybe it is about our child and something’s seem so permanent and not able to be fixed this side of heaven. And yet God has a way of just creating beauty and knowing that I’ve got you. I’ve got this. Trust me and growing us. You know, and it’s just never that, like, smooth uphill progression. It feels like it’s more like stairsteps. Like, we’re at one level of our faith and then we go through something and, wow, all of a sudden we have reached that new level and we really, you know, have grown and see the world differently until He prepares us for that next big step that we’re going to take. Well, I feel like we could talk forever and I because especially with having 3 of us on, there’s so many more questions I would love to ask.
Book, Bible, and Bargain
Kim Moeller [00:45:25]:But I do want to make sure we allow time at the end here to wrap up with your favorite book you’re reading, Bible verse, and bargain. So how about Alicia? If you want to run through those, that’d be great.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:45:37]:Sure. So Bible verses. Think of Isaiah 40. I love that verse because it just talks about it’s like a list. This is God who’s amazing and here you are, you know, just like the grass that withers and the flowers up. You know? But, hey, God doesn’t get tired and Ge doesn’t break down and He’s eternal. And so in that context, I just love this verse. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:45:59]:So that’s verse 29, which then is followed by a verse that we know more, but I just love this. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weakling. We don’t have to have everything figured out. He is our source of strength. And then it goes on. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:46:22]:They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint. So we can cling on to His strength. Mhmm.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:46:30]:He will carry us.
Kim Moeller [00:46:31]:Beautiful.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:46:32]:I just love that. Bargain. We’re back to school. We’re going to buy all these kids’ supplies and allt hese things. And, you know, you’re always doing that, and I never would have thought. But my husband curiously went to marketplace and he got a bunch of brand new notebooks and it was like $5. You know, he bought like a whole box of them. So it’s like, that’s pretty good.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:46:55]:I would have never thought of going to marketplace, but somebody bought too many of them.And they’re all brand new. So it’s like you didn’t have the headache of going to the store and trying to figure it out.
Dr. Alicia La Hoz [00:47:11]:Yes. Yes. The book I’m reading right now, you know, I read, The Warrior of Eden by Beth B. I’d be mispronouncing her last name. Just a beautiful book on just women in the bible and but it’s just written beautifully. She’s got many books. She sits on the board of Cru, and she also has an organization called Back to Back Ministries. And so it’s just beautiful how she really encompasses, you know, women’s issues, but does it in such a thoughtful and engaging way.
Kim Moeller [00:47:46]:That’s great. Thank you for sharing. Karen?
Karen Vergara [00:47:50]:Yeah. So favorite verse, it’s very short. But I think when I was in that season of, doctors not being able to find how to heal me. I found this verse. I read this verse and I feel like it was so prophetic for my life. So it’s, in Mark, 6:34. And he said to her, daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace.
Karen Vergara [00:48:19]:You have been healed. And, yeah, whether we’re looking for mental, physical, or spiritual healing, just know that we serve a God that one calls us daughters. I mean, that to me, because I had some childhood trauma with, my dad, just to hear from the father that he called me daughter was really important. And that my faith made me whole and made me well and that I could go in peace. And so this was at the very beginning of that search for healing.And I because of the miracles that He performed in my healing, then I can really just say that continues to be one of my favorite verses. I’m constantly reading. I love to read.
Karen Vergara [00:49:07]:I really just love it. But this book right now, River Dwellers Living in the Fullness of the Spiritby by Dr.Rob Reamer. I think that we don’t understand the Holy Spirit enough. And He is, you know, He is the one that got Jesus kinda sent back. Right? He sent him the Father, who sent him to us when Jesus went to heaven. And I think if we tap into the Holy Spirit, we learn to, understand the Holy Spirit more than we can, flow in the river, like, be in the river and just He can carry us. He can guide us. He can take us in these, especially kind of moments of uncertainty where we don’t know what’s going on. The Holy Spirit knows, and so we just let Him carry us.
Karen Vergara [00:49:51]:And then, but again, well, it’s goes back to books because I love books. I can it’s like the one thing that I effortlessly spend money on. So I love, thrift books or, you know, going into, like, thrift stores with books. I think thriftbooks.com or, like, even in the Amazon, Amazon page, you can just go check the used book section. It ends up being cheaper. So, like, for the price of one new book, Ican buy 2.
Karen Vergara [00:50:23]:So that is my bargain for anyone who likes to read and likes the paper copies.
Kim Moeller [00:50:29]: That’s perfect. I remember Tim Keller talking on one of his videos about buying books was his greatest weakness.Yes. Well, thank you both for being here, and God bless you in your ministries, your careers, your lives as board members, wives, raising little ones, teenagers, all the things.And I just think you’ve been a real encouragement. Yeah. I know you have for me, and I know you will for the listeners.
Kim Moeller [00:50:58]:So thank you again for being a part of the Generous Girl podcast.
Karen Vergara [00:51:01]:Thank you, Kim. Such a pleasure. Thank you so much.
Kim Moeller [00:51:08]:Thanks so much for joining us today on the Generous Girl podcast. We’re so glad that you’re here. And if you know of someone that you think needs to be a guest on this podcast, please reach out to us. New episodes are released every other week, and you can follow us onYouTube and on all platforms. Thanks for being here, and we’ll see you next time!
