Kim Moeller 0:03
from the National Christian foundation in San Diego, I’m Kim Moeller. And this is the Generous Girl podcast, a show that shares inspirational stories about generosity through faith, family, finances, fitness, and friendships, as well as deep thoughts about what matters most and practical tips. My guests are all amazing women who have overcome adversity, and are big believers in hope, and in maximizing their time, their talents and their treasures, and making their lives count. So we’re so happy that you’re here. Thanks for joining us, and we’ll see you next time. Hello, it’s so great to have you all back for the generous girl Podcast. I’m Kim Moeller, your host. And I’m thrilled today to welcome Julie Wilson, the President of Women Doing Well. She came out of a media background and has been doing vocational ministry work in New York City for over 20 years, as well as the director of communications with Generous Giving. So it’s a privilege, Julie, to have you here. I know we’re not in the same room or coast to coast, you’re in Virginia, I’m in California. But what a treat to have you here.
Speaker 2 1:15
I’m just so happy to be with you. I could not be spending a better hour than to just get to sit and talk about the things that matter with you. So thank you for having me.
Kim Moeller 1:24
You are welcome. Well, I think every listener will be blessed when they hear your story. And today we’re going to focus on two of those areas of the faith finances, family friendships and fitness. And those two areas with you are going to be finances and faith. And the reason I think those two areas are so significant for you is because you do lead this incredible organization called women doing well. And I will not spoil it for everybody. But I know it rather well, because I am a facilitator with it. And I’m so grateful that I believe I found out about it, because somehow I got an email inviting me to join an online group had not heard of it. And I thought Yeah, I can do this for an hour a week for six weeks. And really, it was life changing. And I thought, this is amazing. I want to become a facilitator and help other women, you know, figure out their plan, their purpose, their passion. So I’m telling everyone what it’s all about. And I’ll let you go into detail. But why don’t we start just so people have an idea of who you are? How you grew up your family today? Why don’t you just tell us a little bit about your background? And then what brought you to you know, this role at Women Doing Well?
Speaker 2 2:42
Great. Well, I was raised in a small town in Connecticut, in what I would call a typical middle class family where my dad was just trying to start his career. I have one sibling, we had goldfish and two guinea pigs because my parents did not want to buy a dog. So you know, pretty bucolic upbringing, we lived on a mountain, my entire school grades one through 12 was only 600 children. So it was very small. And when my dad turned 40, he decided that he really wanted to start a company. And so being a New England family, when he told my mom that he wanted to move us to Miami, Florida that did not go over well, we would be the only family members, you know, down there. And so my dad was a big Democrat, and he would often host family meetings for big decisions. So he hosted a family meeting. But he conveniently told me and my sister that Disney World was in Florida, and Disney World was relatively new. And so of course, he lost the family vote. So my mom negotiated full control of the air conditioning and that spiritually, she was interested in learning about the Bible. We were a church going family. We went every Sunday I went to Sunday school. But no one in my family really understood relationship. We had religion. And so when we moved to Florida, those first three years were really difficult. It was a difficult move for my mom to start over at 40. My sister was in high school that you know, it was hard. And my dad was trying to start a business which wasn’t tearing off. And so basically his business about three years in took off and we were at this church and it was a great Bible teaching church. But again, we still were not really a biblical home. There was a lot of success driven this there was a lot of materialism, and a lot of, you know, just strife of the season of life with teenagers. So I was the performer of the family. So I even sang in the church choir. I went on mission trips with Billy Graham Spanish crusade. But I will tell you there was just no real Biblical understanding. So off to college I went forgot about going to church really just got into you know, So typical college experience, got a job in New York, moved to get my dream job at NBC. And that is where I came to faith. And that’s where the story really took a different turn. So yeah, just a little background.
Kim Moeller 5:13
I’d love for you to tell us more about how you came to faith in New York City, because that wouldn’t normally be the person’s story. Often times, people move to New York City and maybe feel like it’s hard to find that great church to attend, etc. So I’d love to hear more about that.
Speaker 2 5:29
Well, I’ll tell you, it was very inconvenient because New York City is a really fun town, and I was having a lot of fun. That said, I also was feeling very empty. It was the first time in my life that I felt insignificant, because when you’re in New York, so is everybody else who’s wanting to be somebody. So it’s a pretty difficult environment. And I worked as a singer on a boat to make money while I interviewed for NBC. And I performed my final interview, actually, my sister had become a Christian. That’s important down in Miami through Executive Ministries, and had been praying for me, she told me about this church, I decided that it would be really good to get in good with God, the night before my final interview. So I went to this women’s thing. And I met a woman there who prayed for my interview and eventually invited me to a Bible study which I had zero interest in, I thought she was a weirdo. I thought, oh, my gosh, it looks so normal that you’re in a Bible study. But eventually, I went to her Bible study, and it took me a bow. It took both of us about two months to figure out that I had not really ever understood what it meant to know Jesus personally. And that really is a relationship. And so I had been going to her Bible study, she thought I was a full on Bible believer, she met me in church she liked she prayed me into my job, all of that, but I was nowhere. And so my prayer request tipped her off, and she’s like, When was it that you asked Jesus into your life? I’m like, I’m not really sure. I grew up with all this. But I think I’m figuring out that everything we’re learning is what I grew up with. I just never believed that she’s like, so do you believe it now? And I’m like, I think so. I mean, it feels so right. And so we we, of course, switch gears, and she led me through the salvation prayer and helped me understand walking with Jesus.
Kim Moeller 7:12
Well, and it is such a journey. I mean, I know you’re the parent of a daughter, I have three daughters in the son who are now all in their 20s Yours is younger than mine, but it’s a journey, like a child is raised in whatever kind of home it is, and everyone has their individual journey and parents can convey, you know, however, they’re trying to raise the kids or teach them about the Lord. But truly, it has to be self actualized and owned and the heart of that person touched by God to be able to then right take, take the next steps. However old person is 2040 60. And I love how you know, everyone’s story is different in that that happened to you in New York City in in I love the lady who, you know, took the next step with you to ask you about that. Okay, so then what happened next, then, now you’re moving into this new career, you’re in New York City.
Speaker 2 8:10
Yeah, I have what you call a foot in the door job. It was a page. I’ve been told that like 7000 people apply for the job, and they, they only ever have 40 positions available. So it’s pretty competitive. Thankfully, I didn’t know that when I was applying, because I think I would have freaked out but I got the job. And interestingly, it was that first week at that job that I attended my first Bible study. It was a redeemer Presbyterian Bible study led by a woman named Cindy Halston. And I knew that my life was going to change. And that was very clear to me. And I think all those years of biblical truth going in from the church in Miami that my mom brought us to, just came to fruition and my eyes were opened. And I had such a hunger for my friends at NBC, to know Jesus. And I found myself having the there were 40 pages, and we had a lounge. And there were a couple other believers in the program. And I just found myself discussing very educationally, not in a preachy way. And people were interested. And I just thought, I think there’s a lot of people like me, maybe they’ve grown up with spirituality, even church, but they don’t really understand it. And so, from that Cindy invited me to attend a ministry that that really ministered to young professionals and I, during that meeting, felt like I should maybe do this for a season like really help people grow in the Bible. I had no idea that it wasn’t like the Peace Corps, and then you’d go back into the workplace. But essentially, I agreed to do this for a short term. And funnily enough, I was offered a job with NBC with Bill Cosby’s new show, Malcolm Jamal Warner as their audience coordinator. I had received the page internship and they offered me the job and I look back on that now, it was super hard for me to say no to that. I went to Sydney and I said, I know I’m supposed to do this mission thing, but like This is a big deal, like I could get in the door. And she’s like, well pray about it. You know, it couldn’t be that you’re supposed to do it. But maybe God just wanted you to know your value. And I was like, interesting. And I was able to walk away. And now all these years later, I’m just so grateful. Because that would have been probably my story. What’s happened to so many women, right? My other job that I wanted was with date with, I wanted to be a producer on the Today Show. And the way you got there was through Dateline NBC, and I would have been an associate producer for a man named Matt Lauer. So again, like God always has our protection and our back and are good in mind. So off I, I went into ministry, and loved it. And so I spent, actually, I spent 11 years in New York City with Priority associates in ministry of crew. And then it was time for me to move down to Orlando where I spent another few years before joining the team at generous giving, which got me into the generosity conversation. And that’s a whole different part of my journey and ministry and with Jesus that I’ve really enjoyed.
Kim Moeller 11:05
Yes, and Generous Giving is a strong partner of NCF, the National Christian foundation. And for those of you listeners who don’t know what it is, it’s an organization that wants to come alongside you, and have you attend what’s called a jog that journey of generosity, it might be Friday night, Saturday, I’m actually helping a gal co facilitate one in Orange County, for one day, we’re doing it from 830 to four, but it’s sharing inspirational stories about generosity. So that from that, the conclusion of that day, you’re encouraged to then take that next step with your finances, with your heart, with your talents, your treasures, and whatever God might have for you to do. There’s never a financial ask. And I love I love partnering together with generous giving. And that must have been an incredible time when you work there.
Speaker 2 11:57
It really was funny enough, so my parents both came to faith after my sister and I did in a really beautiful way. So our core family all walked with Jesus for about 10 years. Unfortunately, my mom got ovarian cancer, and she lived for three and a half years, but it ultimately took her life. And during that season, that was the season that it got really, it was like a dark night of the soul, a lot of pain and things surface. But in that a friend of hers sent me a condolence letter with an article that she found helpful. And it basically said, if you’ve lost somebody, a great way to honor them, is to pick a quality that they have that you don’t and try to live into it. So I picked generosity because I grew up even though my parents didn’t really fully understand what Christianity could bring to their life, they definitely have the benefits of being generous. They grew up in generous homes. And then when my dad got more, he just his tide got bigger. And you know, beyond the tide, they were doing so many beautiful things for families that needed help. And my mom just led that way. She was the most hospitable, great party thrower, you know, behind closed doors, there was a lot of disappointment and loneliness. But man, when it came to blessing others, there was no question that that is part of life. And you should do that. And so I wanted to honor her by becoming more like her in that. Because I, let’s say I had been a receiver I was had been in ministry since I was 23. And I was used to receiving but I’d be so I didn’t do anything with that for two years. And my first day at generous giving, there’s a pile of books on my desk. And on the top is a brochure that says For God so loved he gave. And it was at that moment that God reminded me of the desire to be generous, and I thought, Oh, I work at generous giving. And I’m not really generous. And so what I got to do in those years, was tell stories of the generous people. So my job was really the programmer, storyteller communication person. And I loved hearing these radical stories, and it deeply impacted me and made me crave that kind of joy and freedom in my own life. The thing that was interesting cam is that during that time, my friend Cindy and I, the one that led me to Christ, we actually brought with Cindy came on and then brought me in, and we were there to basically reach women with generosity, because half the room was women, but most of the speakers and information was for men. And that was really exciting. We did some of the first women’s jobs, but in the very first women’s jobs, women kind of got it fast, like after session two, it’s like I got it. Like, let’s, let’s do something, let’s figure out how we can bless our community. And so very early on, there were some differences between what motivated women and what we were seeing motivated men, but I had no research. So we just continued on. Cindy eventually left and started another ministry. And I stayed as the only executive woman on the team and on the board for that matter. And that that began to really open conversation with the leadership like, can we change this and there was a hard to change it, but it was not as easy as just asking a woman to join the board it was seemed more complicated.
Kim Moeller 15:20
Okay, so from that, and I love, I love the peace of the women, obviously, and NCF. That’s the piece I gravitate toward also is how can women embrace generosity to thrive, and whether they’re single or whether they’re married, just take what God’s given them, and maybe it’s very little, or maybe it’s a lot, it doesn’t matter. It’s really just the heart issue of stewarding what that is that God’s given a woman. And I also love from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the woman is often the neck that turns the head a partnership or a marriage. So talk about then from your experience of Generous Giving when you felt women were you know, leaning into that, how that then transitioned over to women doing well.
Speaker 2 16:09
Okay, so what happened is we were having these conversations and finding that women weren’t interested necessarily in joining the board when they were asked, and I couldn’t figure it out. But Todd Harper, who was the president at the time came in and said, Hey, Julie, there’s this group women doing well, they want to do a research study on women and giving should we participate? And I said, Absolutely. Now, I am not. I’m a storyteller. I’m really not a research expert at all. But I knew that if any work was going to be done on understanding the heart and values of women that that could benefit our conversation. So a few weeks later, I get the report of how the women from Generous Giving that participated compared to the other women, you have to understand the founders of women doing well. We’re told that if they had 300 respondents that that would be a statistically sound research study. At the close of the survey, they had 7300 plus women fill out this survey is to date and still a largest body of research in the world, on women and giving it just happens to be Christian women and giving right so I get the report. And it essentially is like nothing I don’t know, here. I know, these women are generous. And I know that they need these things. So i This doesn’t surprise me. And I just stick it on the corner of my desk. And then the founders were they had started a consulting firm. So they really wanted to help organizations serve their female clients and donors better. But at that time, organizations just weren’t ready for that kind of help. So there was some frustration and they met a generous giving entrepreneurial woman who was hosting a journey of generosity retreated her home, like you just talked about. She had opened her home, but she wasn’t attending. So at lunch, she went out to greet everybody. And she met Pam Pugh who is a founder, one of the founders. And they had a wonderful conversation where Pam started telling her what the research had shown. And she just said, Pam, this is going to change the world. And Pam goes, well, I know that but we can’t sell it to anybody. Nobody’s buying what we’re selling. And she’s like, don’t take it to organizations, take it direct to women, let’s do a women’s event for my friends. And you know, at the time, they weren’t wanting to do events. So that’s how generous giving got pulled in. And I got a phone call to meet with Pam and Janice to discuss using the research to create a transformational experience for women to become more generous, and it was completely the most amazing journey. We just thought we were doing one event for this woman in South Florida and her 150 friends and it turned into two events being scheduled before we’ve even done that one in Houston in Orlando. And five more cities were begging for it. And so we started a nonprofit with about 12 women. And we were on a wing a prayer and a shoestring budget, to be honest, like it was doing. Yeah, it was startup and Generous Giving was really generous to allow a few of us to help with that. Eventually, generous giving got more involved. And, you know, we merged with generous giving for a couple years. And that’s when I became the president. So that was my journey to becoming the president was really volunteering. And yes, and just really seeing God work in women’s lives and knowing like God has always had a calling on my life for women, and leadership that’s just been consistent since I was little. But this was like, Oh my gosh, like this has to happen like women need this tool because the research gave us the keys to their generosity to their heart. And it’s the three things you mentioned. They want to know their purpose. They need to understand their passion so they can say no to good things and yes to better things. And they want to know how to have an intentional plan for not just their money. But their time, their find their expertise, they want to know how to integrate this into their family, they have a very holistic view of generosity. And the research was so clear if you help her live into that all of her giving goes up, including her money, but it’s not just her money that she wants to
Kim Moeller 20:20
talk about. No, because women, everything’s connected, you know, it’s like spaghetti. And I would love for you to just kind of give a teaser for women who might be interested after they hear this podcast to say, well, I’d love to sign up for women doing well, Ignite journey is what we call the first six sessions. And some times we do this online, like I mentioned, the group that I joined was just an online group an hour during the lunch hour for six weeks. But then I’ve also been at a one day event. And what I love is how you make the distinction between someone’s purpose that is hardwired in their DNA, and then the passions that could change because maybe someone, you know, just had their first child, or maybe they have elderly parents, and it’s just a whole different season and what they’re passionate about, based on where they’re at in their own journey can definitely change and maybe it’s clean water, maybe it’s, you know, helping the homeless, etc. So, share a little bit about when someone goes through the Ignite pathway, how they use the app, with the on purpose coaching to find out their to where purpose same, and then I can share also, what I learned was mine. Yes, I think it’s, I think about it a lot. You know, I think boiling it down to two words, it’s very helpful to make your choices and what you want to do with your time because all of our time is limited. And I think it’s kind of like a North Star for women.
Speaker 2 21:48
Well, I’ll tell you first that anybody is welcome to do the pathway, you can sign up for an open group on our website, womendoingwell.org. Or you can email Kim (kmoeller@ncfgiving.com) and Kim can help you start a group like some women don’t like just being anonymous like that, and some do. So what we’ve done is tried to design a very flexible tool, there’s no cost. And that’s really important because we want to create a safe space and no one’s going to, we’re not going to ask you for anything. And neither is anyone in the group, we set those rules and those guidelines so that you can really feel safe to process what God’s entrusted to you and a really lean in, it’s a special time. So in the pathway, it’s 12 sessions. So you’re talking about the first phase is six weeks or six sessions, you can do it in one day, or in one hour a week. And then there’s a second six weeks that takes you deeper. And then there’s a third phase that’s really just self directed. You can do it with a group if you want. Or you could just do it based on what you need to go deeper in your journey and purpose passion plan. So that’s kind of the high level, I will say that I actually received my two word purpose long before women doing well, it was in that season between my time at Cru and knowing that God was calling me to something new. And I was burnt out. I was completely do saying yes to everything. It was my own fault. I had no boundaries. But I was getting accolades for living like that as a single ministry person like I was being celebrated for that kind of commitment. So I found myself at a seminar with Mary Tomlinson our purpose expert, where she gave me my two word purpose statement, which in the early days, my borrowed, you know, the one that I had originally was cultivating growth. And from that, I took a job in the secular market for just a year. And because I had that two word purpose, so ingrained in me, I was like, I’m cultivating growth for a company to make more money. That is not what God told me to do. When I was 23. He told me to take the training he gave me and make spiritual truth relevant to any audience. And I could not do that necessarily, in the job I was in. So I called Mary and that’s when we, we fine tune my two words to Cultivating Change. And that’s when I got really excited about generous giving. So again, it helped me make a decision then when I heard that the research purpose was the number one motivator. Well, not the motivator, but it was the number one element that women needed in order to feel confident. I knew that Mary Tomlinson would be the best person to do that talk. And her tool, which it like you said is now an app is so simple, and you walk away with a borrowed two words and then over for me, it took over a few years to really hone in and I’ve been living with cultivating change, which means nothing to people listening. But to me, steady state is the opposite of cultivating change. So when I’m asked to do volunteer things that are steady state, I usually take a pass and I recommend somebody I know who loves that, right so it’s always a yes because I think God’s Kingdom is beautiful, but I don’t have to say yes to good things that aren’t in my wheelhouse.
Kim Moeller 25:05
Know when there’s somebody who’s sitting right there who would love to do what they say is in their wheelhouse. Well, I love that you mentioned Mary Tomlinson. And I’m happy to do a shout out to Mary on this, this podcast, because I would love for additional women to be able to not only experience Mary’s gifts through women doing well, but she also offers one on one coaching. And I was fortunate in my prior role before being at NCF, to be able to, you know, just kind of for personal development at the company, I was able to do a series of eight coaching sessions with her. And Mary looks at all the areas of your life, you know, whether it’s fitness and financial, spiritual, your job, and then you do like a tournament where you put down the top 16 things in fitness, and maybe that’s, you know, you like to do yoga, or take a walk or do a spin class and you list all 16 things, and then you boil it down to well, if you had to get rid of all the other 15 What would be that one thing? And it just helps to really clarify, you know, in each of the categories of life, are you living a balanced life? Well, this, you know, is the, the focus area right now, okay, that’s okay, I might have to not focus over here. And it just helps. It’s like a bird’s eye view of your life with an incredible female coach, you know, to help you do this. But when we did the tournaments, we also did the one on one figuring out my purpose statement. And what came up for me was inspiring hope. And, and I love to lead women’s groups and always have, but I have never felt called kind of to working in, say, social work or like unpacking the difficult things in somebody’s background that an experienced counselor is able to do, or you know, unpack trauma to then help somebody have hope. And so then as we tweaked it, we came up with encouraging significance. And I thought, that’s a way better fit for me, because the experts who are gifted in unpacking what’s happened prior in somebody’s life, I think inspiring hope works very well for that person. And then for me, it’s like taking the person where she’s at, and helping her thrive and grow and be, you know, significant with her gifts, her calling her shape. And that’s definitely what I enjoyed doing. And I think the finances you know, are a real part of it. And I know before we started this recording, you were talking a little bit about just seeing yourself as a female in the workplace and, and finances and how you know, that all works together? Why don’t you speak a little bit about that, like outside of the actual role with women doing well, but some of your learnings of how, you know, you being a full time, you know, person working, you’ve got your daughter husband that tell us how you navigate it, how you see it and some of the things you’ve learned on your journey, I think that’d be super helpful.
Speaker 2 28:04
Okay, so my daughter, Ella is 12. And my husband Gary and I married much later in life. So I was 38 when I got married, so I have a lot of single years. And growing up, you know, I grew up in a home in the 70s. And my dad was a man of the 70s. I want to preface this by saying, my dad is one of my favorite people. I absolutely respect and admire him so much. He was a very steady presence and a very good provider. He was generous outwardly, but he was also generous to us. So saying that he also as a man of the 70s when, I mean the story goes that my mom talked to him about maybe using our physical therapy degree. And he had this statement, no wife of mine is going to work. Because back then if your wife worked, it meant somehow that you as a man weren’t as successful. And so I actually went into marriage. When Gary and I were talking about getting married, I said, you know, how would you feel if I wanted to work part time? And he’s like, gosh, I just figured you want to stay home. I’m like, well, actually, my mom stayed home. And I think she would have been a much happier, more fulfilled person had she worked. She was so gifted and like you can’t, you know, the house is steady state. Let’s just face it. It’s a lot of like, stuff that has to get done. And it’s beautiful to serve your family. But some women, if they do that, they do that better if they have something outside that’s bringing them energy, and I knew that was me and to enflame, he said yeah, that would be fine, whatever you want. So I knew I had an open minded guy. But anyways, back to my dad. So the other little flashpoint is in the messaging is that when I’ve gotten into college at Boston University, my dad said I’ll pay for it, but I don’t want you to become a feminist and he was slapped. You know what it was, you know, it was like a little bit of a joke, but there was some seriousness and so the message to me was, it’s okay your dad loves you. If you’re strong, just don’t take it too far. And so you know, I worked hard in college, I was excited to change the world through the media, I got almost everything I put my mind to I got, but that came out of the base of somebody believing in me. And I, when I got into ministry, there was also all kinds of messaging, you know, just messages like, well, we need to promote him because he’s a dad. And that’s important. Like, just because single women are single, they don’t get together. Again, nobody meant anything. Right? Sinister by it. But these messages were very clear. And I think if you ask most women, they’ll tell you that they’ve experienced something in that realm, as well. And so I was always waiting for a man to tap me and say, You’re a leader now go, and lead. And it wasn’t until I was well into my time at generous giving and kind of complaining to an outside guy that was had come in to help us, you know, with strategic planning. He said, Hey, Julie, you know, when are you going to leave that organization that’s not seeing you not generous giving but another one? And I was like, wow, that’s an interesting statement. And then it was a coach I was working with, who said to me, Hey, Julie, are you a leader? And I said, Yes. And she said, so why are you waiting around for somebody to tell you that leaders lead, just leave, these were really important moments, because it felt so dangerous. But that was as a result of women doing well, I had grown confidence that I had something to give, I had realized that I was sort of letting myself off the hook because I didn’t have as much wealth as some of the people I was working with. And even though I know it’s not the amount, it just gives you an out like I was just taking the outs because really what I needed to deal with was my identity, as a child of the living God, who made me a leader who has things for me to do, and only I can walk into them, nobody else can help me do that. And so women doing well really was training ground for me to really just step in. And I don’t feel like everybody has my call, I have friends that I earn and admire and respect their choices to stay home with their kids, I just have nothing but like there’s no one way women doing well is really an invitation that we there’s only one of us, each of us in the whole world. And so our calls will never look a like maybe there’s some similarities, but we have to live what God’s asked us to do. And I feel like I’m doing that now in a way that I’ve never thought possible. I just net and, and honestly, my husband and I, we can get into that if you want. But yeah, give really differently. But he’s been such a part of my journey. I I literally talk to my coach about the fact that I was taking a full time position when my daughter went to school and how uncomfortable I felt about identifying as a full time employee somewhere while I was a mother. And I was talking to my coach saying, you know, and I feel like my husband, you know, is that going to minimize his place in life? You know, having a wife, that’s the president of something. And she was like, I’m sorry, but you’re like looking at this word provider? Very limited. You’re just looking at US financial provision. Let me ask you a question. Could you do your job without your husband? And I said, Absolutely not. She’s like, how is that not provision, the fact that he is a partner in parenting with you, the fact that he is at a job that doesn’t have him traveling, so he’s more accessible when you’re traveling? It was revolutionary to me to look at provision with that broad lens, and just feel like my husband wants me to do this, the coaching, it’s okay. But I was such a stubborn like, stuck in that thinking that it was dangerous for me to do this.
Kim Moeller 33:41
Now, that’s beautiful, Julie. And I feel like it just as you said, sometimes it’s having a conversation with somebody, and they say one sentence or you read a book, and it’s one sentence and it just jumps out. And it causes you to change your paradigm and causes you to shift how you’ve looked at things. And I think it’s always like, when we talk about generationally, with you know, how our parents were raised in that generation, how we were raised, how our kids were raised, it’s always changing, it’s always fluid, it’s always different. And it’s never like, I know, when my kids start having kids and raising their kids, all the influences that will be a part of their world are very different than some are the same. But you know, and so, it’s, we I think as humans, we like to be able to just create simple systems that say this is how it should be, you know, a plus b equals c. And it’s we can’t do that because just as you said, like you’re gifting the fact that you’re married Gary his gifting the fact that you have one beautiful daughter Ella looks so different than the person who lives next door to you and might have four boys and you know the mom’s a stay at home mom and and I think that we’re always looking for well, what is that right formula? How do I parent A 12 year old girl, okay, we did this way the back says this, okay, great, I’m gonna do that and I work this way or that way or part time or full time. And I remember raising our kids, it was the same with schools like private schooling, homeschooling public, you know, there are many people in need camp, and some are saying this is the only way you should do it. But even with that whole category, like we have to look at it and say, no, what about our own family unit does my husband travel, my husband always traveled internationally. So that was a big component as we made our choices for raising the kids, somebody needed to be there when they got out of school. And I was actually very fortunate to be able to do that, you know, for many, many years while he was traveling. But I think the older I get, the more I just see that we each do have our one beautiful life. And we each have different talents and treasures and families that maybe you know, we’re Trust Fund child, or maybe we you know, started with absolutely nothing. I mean, there’s the ADC spectrum. But how we manage those resources, how we think about it, and you mentioned, like, learning more about generosity caused you to experience more joy and more freedom. And I do feel like those are the two keys because I think without the generosity, so much joy is missing, and and so much freedom. And the more we’re able to have our hands open, knowing that all that God has given us whether it’s, you know, just the cash in our Wells Fargo bank account, or it’s the other assets that we have over here that make the complete hole. He’s the steward over them all, and has allowed us to, you know, he owns them, and asks us to steward them during our brief time on Earth. So you with your husband, Gary, why don’t you mentioned the side of giving? And are you guys do you feel like you’re both aligned in your giving? And you want to, you know, both give to this certain cause together? Or do you feel like no, we you know, it’s just always curious to hear how couples approach giving.
Speaker 2 37:04
Okay, so can we just say it’s a journey, we have not arrived? But we are in the journey, it started at generous? Well, I would say we were both givers when we got married, really committed to at that time, the time that was sort of the standard. And we had both been single into our later years. So we each had multiple ministries that we supported. So in the first we merged your bank accounts, but not are giving for like the first five years. Yeah. And as we got involved with generous giving he he came to the conference, and I was kind of hoping like he would, he would take the lead and generosity because again, at that time, I was still in the mindset like I can’t get ahead of him. Like that would be wrong for me to lead him in generosity. I think that now my understanding is like that the woman, the man said, the head, the woman said that, like there’s a partnership going on. Like if I have a strength in something, I bless him by bringing that so I could have brought this up. But women doing well was the first time I had a tool that I could really use. And they created a retreat that couples can go on to review the year and set goals for giving and saving and all of that. So Gary and I did that. And it was really game changing, because he was so excited to do that. But I was the one that introduced the idea initiated all of that. And then since then, you know, we put it together on that retreat, and we never did anything. We’re both sevens on the Enneagram. I know some people have feelings about it. But it’s been super helpful because we both have to say, we have to figure out how to say no to stuff because we both want to do everything. And we’re very spontaneous. That’s not good for planning. Let me just say that kind of throws a plan right off wrong.
Kim Moeller 38:42
My husband seven also.
Speaker 2 38:44
So two sevens. And for five years, nothing happened. So just this year, I got invited to do the dream together weekend with halftime Institute, which is really a time it’s just a overnight experience where you talk about some period in the future, whether three years or five years or 10 years. So Gary and I pick 10 years, because that’s until our daughter graduates from college. And we wanted to get some goals financially, some goals for our life, some balance all that. And the good news is we were on page on everything we wanted. They had tremendous exercises that were so helpful. And once again, we came home with a stack of papers, this thing and a couple of blocks. And it sat for a week on my couch. And I thought oh here we go again, because both of us are busy. And so I was working with a coach and I said Gary, do you think you’d be willing to come talk with my coach for one session? I think we’re gonna need help actualizing that plan because I’ve got i It takes all I can to just do what I’m supposed to do for women doing well and keep our home going. And and same with Gary. So he goes sure and that’s been so beautiful. Like we are just, you know, we needed a third party. We needed outside help but the truth is, most couples whether you’re The whoever’s the the one wanting more generosity in the in the conversation, it’s a blessing to the other when it’s done with the heart of this is just something I desire. I mean, I just have experienced nothing but blessing as I’ve taken those steps and Gary has just been really game to and then he takes the lead after it gets going, he’s like, Hey, we should do this or we should do that. So anyways, it’s been a journey we have his two word purpose is assuring significance. And he also did Mary’s eight week course in order to get to get that when he was in a time of transition. So those two purpose statements are really different. We might both be sevens, but the way we operate in our purpose is Ryan, we work so well together. So he always wants to give to one person or one cause that needs to know that they’re seen by God and they matter. It’s wonderful being married to him because we are his focus like he is just so yeah, anyway, mine is cultivating change. So I want to do big things that change things and make an impact. So when it comes to giving away money, it is really different how we want to do that. But we have learned to respect each other, and to find some ministries that both of us feel good about. But then we have some ministries still that are separate. And it’s just been incredible. It’s just been such a gift. So I can’t encourage people enough to do something, do a journey of generosity retreat, go to halftime, like, you know, just whatever you can do to take a step towards a conversation, God will meet you, and it’s so worth it.
Kim Moeller 41:33
That is so good, Julie, because that is the focus of this podcast, take a step, whatever that is, maybe you’re listening feeling like, Wow, if I can have a coach, that would be a game changer. Or maybe you feel like I’ve never felt like I should, or I’m worthy enough to have a coach kind of, you know, people, again, are on the spectrum that way, and maybe they grew up thinking if I went to counseling, that would not be a good thing. Or if I hired a financial coach, that would not be good. You know, there’s so many like shoulds out there and so many ways that we limit ourselves with what’s possible based on beliefs that can be faulty over time. So I love your encouragement about take the next step. And I know we’re almost out of time here. But But again, for the women listening, there are so many resources and in my role with NCF. In San Diego, so many times I’m talking about these incredible organizations, charities that people can grant to from their donor advised fund at MTF. And many times people have never heard of these organizations. But then in that conversation, they’ve also not heard of Generous Giving, or Women Doing Well. And so I just want to encourage the listener, there are a lot of organizations and people that are out there that didn’t exist, you know, maybe a couple of decades ago in this space. So there’s a big generosity movement, I think happening now across the country. I mean, NTFS 32 offices. So we’re in many of the primary cities across the United States, really helping to cultivate generosity, partnering with incredible organizations like Women Doing Well Generous Giving, and it is life changing. So I hope after hearing this podcast that each listener feels like okay, what is it learned in the area of faith or finances that you want me to do to take that next step and in terms of being aligned and giving, that’s a beautiful story, also, like how you’re tying it to your two word, purpose statement, my husband and I, we tend to, he’s a seven on the Enneagram. I’m a three. And we tend to look at giving very the same, we’re just like, Yep, let’s do that. And boom, boom, boom, it’s just we kind of make the decisions and see it the same way, which it’s the way it is, you know, just for us that way. Other topics, you know, we come at it from really different perspectives. So that’s why I like the connection of the two word purpose statement with the giving. So anyways, as we wrap up, I’d love for you to share with the woman listening, if there’s a favorite scripture that you often think about with your role at women doing well or your role in your marriage as a mom. And then I also like to end with any book you’re reading right now, or any bargain. I’m a big bargain person. So I’d love to share anything that you recently found, like anthropology on clearance or whatever.
Speaker 2 44:32
So three things you want a scripture, what was the second one? A bargain and a bargain, okay? So bargain. Scripture would be Psalm 16, the whole thing, my favorite line and the one that grounds me as a seven as the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, and whether it’s personally or organizationally with women doing well, remembering that God sets up boundary lines and it keeps you focused and keeps you You moving in the pathway that He has for you. I love reading books, I usually have five going at all times, I rarely finish one. I’m currently reading one that is so practical. It’s Brene Brown. So spiritually, I’m not sure exactly where she’s coming from. But it’s got a lot of truth of the Gifts of Imperfection. And then with my husband, we’re reading vamos book surrender, which is really full of some beautiful things that I it’s a very big book, but it’s really beautifully done. And then bargains. I’m a bargain shopper. So I like this is what my sister My mom taught me read all the magazines, like flip through them at Barnes and Noble or you know, if you don’t want to purchase them, and then go to the stores like h&m, Old Navy. And what you want to do is buy some base pieces that are expensive, you know, invest in the pants, and the blouses and a jacket. And then all the accessories and the fun pieces, like maybe a top that’s only $15 at Old Navy, but with a you know, $300 blazer and nice pants, you know, and same with shoes. So have a couple of nice pairs. So that’s my that’s my little.
Kim Moeller 46:08
That’s a great tip. Well, it has been just such a privilege and honor for you to be on the podcast I love your story led that a lot of women are going to get to hear more about your story and of course about women doing well. And so they’ll be able to see in the shownotes how to sign up for an online group or a group in their area. And I’d love for more women to attend and become facilitators to kind of share the great story that women doing well is all about. So thank you so much, Julie for all that you do, all that you are and all the ways in which you share your gifts, your beautiful gifts with the kingdom and you’re just a blessing.
Unknown Speaker 46:51
Thank you for having me, Kim.
Kim Moeller 46:58
Thanks so much for joining us today on the generous girl podcast. We’re so glad that you’re here. And if you know of someone that you think needs to be a guest on this podcast, please reach out to us. New episodes are released every other week. And you can follow us on YouTube and on all platforms. Thanks for being here and we’ll see you next time!
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